Both of my parents possessed a wicked sense of humor. Thank goodness for that. However, the close alignment between comedy and tragedy was never lost on me.
Mom’s humor was often a harbinger of chaos to come. Laugh? Cry? Sometimes I didn’t know which to do first and I wasn’t alone. When my dad was alive, he could help Sue lean into ‘the funny honey’ but it became more and more challenging as the years passed.
In “Surviving Sue” I struggled to pare down the list of crazy episodes with mom because the menu of options was quite extensive. In the end, I picked a few anecdotes which best characterized Sue’s outrageous behavior and capacity for drawing empathy from others.
My sweet sister, Lisa, was careful in order to avoid mom’s wrath, especially if she took a risk to disclose secrets after our father passed away. Lisa had a lot of alone time with Sue. On page 153:
“Lisa gave me hushed glimpses of Sue’s ‘rules’, but she knew she was being a risk taker in doing so. Every Lisa confessional, at least while Sue was alive, would begin with, ‘Vicki – don’t tell mom, but did you know…’. Mostly the disclosures were harmless and often fantastically funny…….”
In “Surviving Sue’ I share some of these episodes which I titled “Sue or Lucy” – because of the parallels between Sue’s wild behavior and the antics of Lucille Ball.
Dad always said Sue had nine lives…and he was right. Luckily no one was seriously injured as a result of the “Sue or Lucy” antics, but damage to property, relationships…her reputation? Oh gosh, yes. Damage was done, and as the episodes became more egregious, more indicative of her advancing dementia and mental illness, the public displays of Sue’s inner turmoil helped to accurately diagnose her struggles.
A recent reader of “Surviving Sue” remarked that the story of my mom’s life is funnier than she expected it to be. Mmm…I said. I can see that. With a title like “Surviving Sue” some readers might feel they need to batten down their hatches as they dig in. Yes, there are dark moments, but the entirety of my mom’s life is faceted, dimensional. So many shades of darkness and light that the label ‘villainess’ – despite her unseemly behavior – doesn’t capture the complexity of who Sue was.
Thank you for your interest in the book and for the questions about where to post comments, reviews. I’ve added a new page on Victoria Ponders, all about “Surviving Sue” just for the purpose. Thank you in advance for sharing your comments, reviews and input.
Vicki 😊
“Surviving Sue” Available from Eckhartz Press.
Learn more about the book in the Heart of the Matter podcast.
Photo of Lucille Ball playing Lucy Ricardo in 1952; courtesy of CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images. The other image of my mom, Sue, was taken around 1960.
Victoria Ponders 
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