I took this photo of my dad while on a family vacation in Mexico – decades ago. It became a favorite – for both of us – but possibly not for the reasons you’d imagine. Yep, it’s a handsome pic of a handsome man but the binding between us had nothing to do with mutual admiration for his face (or his swanky mirrored shades).
It was all about the shirt. Take a look. What do you see? Pretty buttoned-up, right? Indeed. Even on vacation, my dad was tidy and scrupulous about how he dressed. Known for packing more outfits than my mom – by a mile – dad loved his white dress shirts for any and all occasions.
Did he tote along typical beach duds? Sort of. If you’d call a slew of short sleeve 😉 white button downs “casual wear”. Any tropical board shorts in his suitcase? No, no, no. Only plain (and seemingly starched and pressed) navy, knee-length swim trunks. Two pairs – so one pair was ever-ready, dry and good-to-go.
He was fastidious to a fault and endured a lot of ridicule (yep, from me) for his ‘board room’ vs. ‘beach’ attire but he was also generous and charming. Tightly wound about his appearance and apparel, he was abundantly loose and loving with those he cared about. I think his white shirt rigidity made it easier for him to be spontaneous in other ways.
My dad knew how to make everyone around him feel like a big-time winner. How? He never wanted or needed eyes on him. I suspect he’d had enough of that along the way. At 6’ 4” tall, he towered over most folks and by size alone, was cast as a caretaker. The solid one.
In an unguarded moment once he told me he suspected he was a mighty oak in another life because people so willingly trusted him and admired his strength. Sometimes, he said, strength he knew he DID NOT possess (or was in short supply). Still – he rose and served – but when he could manage it, he mostly wanted to be in the background and not center stage. “All the better to have eyes on who needs help the most; don’t look away.”
He’s been gone for many years and yet he’s always nearby. I figure nuggets of my heart and soul – the cosmic soup that is ME – came from pretty good stock. His. And that’s sweet comfort for me, every day.
-Vicki ❤
Victoria Ponders 
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