I have a very bad habit of scrolling my newsfeed when I can’t sleep.  I know that goes against all the good advice – much of it I’ve given to others – but the mystical and mighty late-night allure of the i-Pad is powerful and I say it helps to distract me from the well-intended techniques, like counting sheep, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation that often fail me.  It’s a habit I’d like to quit, but I’m struggling – especially when I run across something to snicker at, which only reinforces my naughty, overnight perusing.

This morning?  At 3am I gave up on my own wellness drivel and swapped in technology. It was a self-defense maneuver, listening to the hubster and pupster’s concerto of snoring. I was defenseless.  (Yup – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!) 

Straight away, I landed on a piece about dear Prince Harry’s soon-to-be-released-but-why-bother-we’ve-heard-it-all-anyway memoir and I laughed out loud.  At 3am. 

Guy Kelly, writing for the Telegraph shared some hilarious observations about the scuffle and turmoil between Prince Harry and his bro, Prince William – the notorious rumble in the Nottingham Cottage kitchen.  Kelly wrote: 

“It’s a riveting passage, with many of the hallmarks we love from Prince Harry’s previous hits, including his aptitude for instilling anecdotes with the melodrama of a telenovela, his tendency to include details that do nothing but confound the reader about his lifestyle, and his remarkable gift for letting His Truth only bolster the widely held view that he might, just might, be a few beads short of a necklace.” (emphasis added by me!)

That?!  That?!  Maybe it was just 3am funny, but it still holds up at 8am, I say.  I lost a few of my beads when I read that paragraph…that phrase.  I think I’ve always been a few beads short of a necklace, truth be told, 😉 but Kelly’s fantastic imagery sent me into a chuckle fit. 

Forgiveness if you don’t find this equally funny – or perhaps not funny at all.  And I don’t mean to malign the monarchy, the Royals, the ‘firm’.  I’m just amused.  Which prompted a rabbit hole of wanton discovery as I wondered…now at 3:10 am…about the origin of the phrase “clutching pearls”.  You know how 3am minds are…wanderers tolerating wonder.  Know what I found?  The whole “pearl clutching” to express dismay and shock, Scarlett style, is pretty rooted in literary history, going back to at least 1910:

 From Chapter X of The Rake’s Progress, a romance by Marjorie Bowen 3, published in The Gentlewoman (London, England) of Saturday 12th February 1910:

The Countess Lavinia stood silent; she had no words to meet the occasion. Only once before had she spoken directly with her husband, when he had brought her home to Lyndwood Holt, and then, as now, he had silenced her. Her dumb hatred of him rose and swelled in her heart to agony; she made a motion of her hand to her throat and then clutched at the pearls on her tight bodice.
The Earl glanced away from her as if he found her not worth of his attention.
She gave a little gasp, and the string of pearls broke and came away in her hot hand.

What’s the point?  No point.  I’m just sharing and lamenting the fact that this will be a three-cupper…of coffee day.  Ah…maybe I’ll toss in a ‘cuppa’ in deference to dear Harry and enjoy some tea.  One thing’s for sure…I won’t be clutching any pearls as more revelations (if there are any) from “Spare” are shared. 

Vicki 😊

23 thoughts on “A Few Beads Short”

  1. Oh I do the same thing! It’s really such a bad habit! And like you, I’m always amazed at the rabbit holes I’ve found myself going down. A few weeks ago, I started reading a story about the anger in Congress between both parties and somehow ended up fifteen minutes later reading a bunch of stories on the agrarian community in Jamestown. Duh! It’s 3 in the morning! Explain that one to me! Good luck today, my one bit of advice, lots and lots of coffee.

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  3. I’ve pre-ordered Spare and am awaiting its arrival. I rarely care about celebrity memoirs, but this one has me hooked. I studied in England, I watched The Crown, I remember Harry walking behind Diana’s casket, I HAVE TO KNOW MORE and I don’t care if Harry is one bead short of a necklace. Odds are it’s an expensive necklace…

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    1. I hear you, Ally! It’s hard to look away…and I’m so tempted to order it…curious to read for myself, I think. Can’t wait to hear your take on “Spare” when you get your hands on it! Probably better than all the flapdoodle out there currently about the book! 😎😎😎

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    2. I haven’t ordered Spare but I’m tempted to. As Vicki relates so well in this post, the British Press are so talented at being so elegantly cutting. But if Harry is one bead short of a necklace, I think they ought be a little more introspective about their part in it. I have so much empathy for Harry trying to put it all together and share it after all he’s lost (and yes, within an incredibly privileged scene).

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  4. I’m so sorry about your sleeplessness. That is so not fun! But I love that you fell into laughter about that wonderfully crafted phrase and looked up “clutching her pearls.” I didn’t know that!

    I hope the coffee is getting you through and that you have a wonderful sleep tonight!! XOXO

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  5. If I’d have had anything in my mouth, I woulda’ lost my beads too. It’s 11:36 and still funny. Plus, I can commiserate with finding something funny at 3AM… The bed shaking with snorts and giggles and hubby waking up from HIS snorting to become annoyed. Which only makes me laugh harder. Ah, loved this. Thank you for so much for the giggles!

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  6. I am too well acquainted with mid morning thought processes- mine seem brilliant sometimes so I make a note in my handy notebook for that purpose. Usually my brilliance is somehow tarnished in the light of day. Ha ha
    I less rely on coffee than the nap on the couch method – just resting my eyes m’dear: not tired at all. 😅

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  7. I’ve gotta say I can’t possibly begin to compete with the whippy quips you guys have expressed before me. You all have me in stitches with the pearl clutching, bead shortage, bleary eyed coffee sipping, and tarnished brilliance. I am happily retired so 3 am wake-ups make no difference to me—there is always a nap in my future. After coffee of course. Thanks for a few marvelous chuckles.

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    1. Julia! Thank you for laughing along and/or laughing AT…me! I’ll take any and all Julia that I can get. I love knowing that the silly makes you smile. You’ve made my morning, dear one! 💕💕💕

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      1. Oh Vicki, I always appreciate a wicked-good sense of humor, and that you have in spades! The fun is sucked right out of life when one takes oneself or life too seriously, don’t you think? Keep ’em coming Vicki! I will always enjoy a good giggle coming from your corner of the world! 😁💕

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        1. You light me up with goodness, Julia! Couldn’t agree more — the world takes a lot out of us with so many serious and somber topics. All the more reason to find our light-hearted friends and revel in all the good humor we can muster…sometimes a little wicked humor…just because! Big hugs! xo! 🤍🤍🤍

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    1. I know, right? That line is funny to me…maybe because I KNOW I’m a ‘few beads short’ myself. 😉 And yes…thinking good things for all concerned in dramas — royal and otherwise, I say. Tuesday smiles to you, Todd! 😎😎😎

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