Long before I knew what “RBF” meant (slang for resting bitch face) I exhibited the expression frequently as a kid.  One of the best things about teaching and being around ‘the younger’ is the potential for keeping up with the latest acronyms and text-culture witticisms.  When “RBF” was thrown at me the first time I needed the explanation…and what followed was this:  Holey, moley, guacamole!  A name — for the trademark Vicki look of disdain going back…well…decades.  Evidence?  That’s me on the left:

Why?  I hated the forced revelry when mom would pull out a camera and command “Smiles!”.  Even as a tyke I understood the incongruence between actual events and mom’s performances – her attempts to capture/manufacture happy family moments. 

Left with no defense other than a scowl, scowl I did in soooo many photos.  They’re fun and laughable to look at now, but I also understand that my behavior, facially, was just the front door to what simmered within. 

In today’s post for Heart of the Matter, I explain a little more.  I’d love for you to pop over and take a peek.  The teaser?  What do bridges, coping mechanisms and gratitude have in common?  Let me know what you think…and as always, thank you so much for reading.  It means a lot. 


Vicki 😊

25 thoughts on “Pieces of Me

  1. Oh I can relate Vicki! I’ve always hated forced appearances and revelry. I’m convinced that’s a big reason why I lean heavily to being an introvert. As you say, “Even as a tyke I understood the incongruence between actual events” and performing or making things look happier than they really were. As a defense mechanism, I would scowl or withdraw. Glad to know I wasn’t the only one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So good to have company in the scowling club! And why am I not surprised?! Another wacky and wonderful tidbit that we have in common. And now that you’ve shared, I’ll expect to see photo evidence, soon-ish! 😎😎😎

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post, Victoria. I definitely “hear” what you’re saying about forced smiles in photos–or forced insincerity in anything. I, too, knew this at a young age–of stepping out of the moment in order to attempt to capture it. When I was twenty, I took my first big trip (beginning with Australia). I was away for seven months and took all of forty photos. Why? Because I felt even then that the camera was getting in the way.
    Wishing you a wonderful day! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Art! I love that — the camera DOES get in the way, changes a moment/experience. Unavoidable at times but I totally hear you! Hard to be in the moment when fiddling to photograph it! 😘


  3. Your countenance in that photo speaks clearly Vicki! I tend to believe that kids really do get so much more than adults ever want to admit and the same adults often have little in the way of resources to help either themselves or the children in question. This post, as well as the HoTM post today has me looking at some of my own specific childhood moments and formulating ways to share them with readers. Thank you for being an authentic example!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my goodness. Thank you on so many levels, Deb. For reading and for sharing that it made sense to you – truly! I do think of my life as a series of wacky puzzle pieces, and the more I snap a few chunks together, the more ‘a-ha’ and understanding I find. I look forward to reading all of your posts — and can’t wait to enjoy more from you. 😘

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Those who see the world as it is, especially when they are children, sometimes reflect that in their inability or lack of desire to display lightness when what they see is dark. Obviously, I don’t know if this was true of you, but just a thought. Feel free to discard it, Vicki.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What an insightful thought, Dr. Stein. Thank you for that. I hear you. think the tendency to have a fixed filter or lens is something to guard against. Always appreciative of your input. Hugs and smiles. 💓


  5. I, on the other hand, have resting pleasing face. Because I can’t stand people not liking me, so I’ve got a smile on in most interactions, even though I feel dead inside, lol. I need to learn how to wield the RBF sometimes!

    Liked by 1 person

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