Yesterday while driving to an appointment, the Carpenter’s song, “Superstar” popped up on my favorite 70’s oldies station. (I know, I know. I do listen to other things, but music from that era is so full of feel-good moments, I can’t resist, even though I know dear daughter groans, still, at my choices.)
The DJ, introducing the beloved song, mentioned that yesterday was Karen Carpenter’s birthday, born on March 2, 1950. Had she lived, she would’ve been 73 but, in my heart, she’s forever the songstress and chanteuse from my youth, a contributor to the soundtrack of my childhood.
No song more than Superstar stunned me. Even fifty-plus years later, her vocals, the arrangement of that particular song prompt tears. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s an example of Susan Cain’s ‘Bittersweet’ and the melancholy that can come from music. I love ‘Superstar’, but I can’t think of a time that I’ve listened…really listened…without moist eyes. Including yesterday, while driving.
When I got home last night, I picked a video from the array on YouTube to watch Karen Carpenter sing “Superstar” and the first one that popped was from a BBC concert in 1971. Karen famously, and tragically died from complications from anorexia in 1983. Despite reports and concerns about her health and weight loss prior to that concert, last night as I watched, tears came again – a mix of joy from the music combined with pain, so much pain, as I looked at her. She was dying, right before our eyes.
My old album covers and memories of her are from earlier days in her career, times when she reportedly loathed herself for being ‘chubby’. Eating disorders scare me because of issues that ran rampant in my mother’s family but seeing Karen Carpenter in the video? I’d forgotten how ill she began to look. Were we all so mesmerized by her voice that we looked away?
For a few days this week, I’m going to remember her. Listen to her music, lovingly and with my whole heart. Her voice was a gift and much like early Elton John tunes, she’s tightly woven into memories that are more than a visual kaleidoscope. I hear the songs…like Superstar…and they are evocative interludes of softer times.
Vicki ❤
Victoria Ponders 
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