“Surviving Sue”: Peek Inside

What a fun whirlwind the past few days have been. Thank you to all of you who’ve expressed an interest in my book. I promise I won’t post about it all the time, but based on feedback from a few fabulous followers, I’ve decided I’ll blog about the book once a week under the title “Surviving Sue: Peek Inside”. That way, you can scoot on by if the topic is tiresome or dig in to join me in conversation about tidbits from the book. Deal?

I was blessed to have several ‘beta-readers‘ – those beloved souls who read because we ask them to, often without any forewarning or protective gear. Not even a box of tissues or emergency chocolate. 😉

Because I still carry my social scientist self within me (the person who enjoyed lengthy qualitative research when I was in higher ed) I LOVED receiving feedback about recurrent themes nestled within the pages of “Surviving Sue“. Writing can be a trip down lonely street…for a very long time without tidbits of input. A long, solitary slog…never-ending. Until…you’re brave enough, or clueless enough (I’m joking!) to ask for “other eyes” on your paper…

Feedback from treasured readers? Oh yes. They’ll point out the wayward trails and dead-end paragraphs and ask questions, mostly with a gentle touch but sometimes with just enough bite that you know you need to ‘nose to grindstone’ errr…keyboard for the greater good.

As I received feedback from my friends Wynne and Linda, themes emerged. Some intentional but I’m not gonna fib. Some? Serendipity at work because I needed the words, one page at a time (occasionally one paragraph at a time) to guide me. Here are some of the themes recurrent in “Surviving Sue”:

  • Understanding complicated family members – finding ways to love them anyway
  • Tending to unresolved childhood pain when it follows us into adulthood
  • Rethinking our parents as people; fractured souls doing their best
  • Secrets and lies and how the weight of distortion impacts mental health
  • Parenting disabled children and the stress on parents
  • Advocacy and allyhood for developmentally, intellectually and physically disabled persons
  • Humor in the midst of madness; developing resiliency despite lunacy and lies
  • Dads and daughters and special survival bonds
  • Sister love and the care and keeping of those who are most fragile
  • In plain sight: Helpers ARE everywhere; heroes and cavalry
  • Elder care navigation and the challenge with comorbid conditions – physical, mental health and more
  • Grace and patience; staying strong despite physical and emotional abuse

Do any of these jump out at you from an interest point of view? YOUR feedback is welcome. I look forward to sharing a peek inside “Surviving Sue” once a week…right here on Victoria Ponders…and I sure hope you’ll join me.

One last, important thing before you go: My post on Heart of the Matter today provides insight about one of my favorite psychiatrists and her thoughts about love and fear. I would never have been able to write “Surviving Sue” without her help.

Vicki 😊

Surviving Sue | Eckhartz Press



55 responses to ““Surviving Sue”: Peek Inside”

  1. […] post on Victoria Ponders today is the first of a recurring series – a “Peek Inside” my book about my mom.  I hope […]

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  2. I bumped into mental health issues while writing “Leora’s Early Years.” My grandmother Leora married Clabe whose teenage and young adult years were accompanied by his parents’ disfunction, violence, and chaos. He had two sisters about his age. The granddaughter of one said her grandmother was very gloomy, and some of the cousins were afraid of her. Disfunction, violence, and chaos take their toll on even more generations. I’m thankful Clabe met Leora, whose personality probably helped him heal. I look forward to reading your book, Victoria.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Joy. I don’t know what’s going on with the WP Reader — I keep losing your posts. They disappear on me. Your recent piece about pioneers was fascinating when I read it but when I went back to comment it was gone. Most of all I want you to know I need to catch up with all that’s “Leora” because the resolve and strength of the pioneers is of great interest to me. And yes…I can only imagine the layers of mental health issues, but out of survival necessity, much must’ve been sidelined and dismissed. Different times, for sure. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  3. drgeraldstein Avatar
    drgeraldstein

    I am sure your book will be a great success, Vicki. No emergency chocolate required! Celebratory chocolate, yes!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh…I like the sound of that! Celebratory chocolate? Yes! 🥰

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  4. any idea if your book will be available thru digital downloads collaboration? … or amazon? as to what jumps out at me from an interest point of view, i would say, “Secrets and lies and how the weight of distortion impacts mental health,” and “Humor in the midst of madness; developing resiliency despite lunacy and lies.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for your input, Linnie! Those are two BIG themes in the book. Glad to know those areas are of interest to you. And yes…down the line “Surviving Sue” will be available digitally but probably not for a few months from what my publisher’s shared. I’ll keep you posted about that. 😎

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yes, please keep us posted on when it will be available digitally! thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. In my family, I wonder if what I witnessed was the result of the burdens placed on the shoulders of an individual too young and too ill prepared or if there may have been undiagnosed mental illness. Two generations ago found women under an extremely societal and patriarchal culture and I find myself mourning for many of their experiences. They had to be tough to survive.

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    1. Gosh – I connect with all of that, Maggie. I think you’re right. Shouldering and suffering – silently in most cases. Rings true about my mom’s life. She shouldn’t have been the responsible one so early in life, but as you said, expectations were different just a generation or two ago. 💔

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      1. It is heartbreaking but sadly the circumstances cannot excuse abusive behaviors. Still we love, perhaps in conflict.

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        1. I love the way you said that…’still we love, perhaps in conflict’. It’s messy business, for sure. 💕

          Liked by 2 people

  6. Kathleen Ann Canfield Avatar
    Kathleen Ann Canfield

    So excited to buy and read your book! I’ll be waiting by the mailbox!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well then! 😉 Thank you so much. The publisher says shipping should begin in the next week or so – definitely by June 15 – thanks for your patience, Kathleen. Your encouragement all the way through was such a gift. Love you bunches. 🥰

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  7. OMG, Vicki, each one of these themes impacts pretty well every extended family in one way or other. So important. My order is showing on my Visa transactions! Looking forward to learning from the reading.

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    1. Jane! Thank you so much for taking a leap and trusting in me…that it will be worth your time. Grateful, grateful! And I love that the themes make sense to you — it was one of the greatest gifts from Wynne and Linda…the nodding and encouragement that these threads were visible and that they mattered. Writing might be solitary, but the sharing and feedback riches are invaluable. Can’t wait to hear what strikes you the most. Feeling honored by your interest. Truly. 🥰💕🥰 (And…hope you’re feeling well today!)

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I love that you intend to break down some of these bigger pieces and frame them for discussion from individual standpoints Vicki! Of course I find almost every single one relatable but I don’t want to make assumptions about what I am going to encounter or feel when reading “Surviving Sue”. I also genuinely think that for many of us who have experienced some or all of your personal journey the ability to dissect (not the greatest word but…) parts and pieces will give us all lots to think about. I think you are giving all of us a gift in this way and putting the resources and tools that you use daily out there for everyone. Thank you friend!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Sunday morning to you, Deb! I love your use of the word ‘dissect’ — it’s perfect, I think – and it describes what I have in mind. I think there are plenty of common ground connections for many of us and I’ll be happy to highlight my own bits and pieces, hoping — just as you said – that my story – and Sue’s story – might be helpful to others. I sure hope so. Thank you so much. Big hugs! 🥰🥰🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  9. “Understanding complicated family members – finding ways to love them anyway”
    This jumped out at me because we work through a lot of those things in Integrating the Spirals! WOW!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for sharing, Sheila. Happy to hear you can relate…but not happy that you do – know what I mean? Thanks for making the connections! 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I also love these two, “Tending to unresolved childhood pain when it follows us into adulthood
    Rethinking our parents as people; fractured souls doing their best”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for adding these, Sheila. Very helpful! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  11. One theme that shines through to me is your willingness and desire to get input: you may take that for granted, but more often than not, folks are only looking for compliments rather than critic even of the constructive type. You are awesome!

    And I love the idea of creating the themes and expanding on them. Perhaps a follow-up book could be focused on the 3-6 mega themes, each can have “sub-themes”, of course, with the stories as illustrations of the themes?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love your feedback, EW. 😊 Wynne and I often joke (but there’s a heap of seriousness underneath) that we appreciate being “seen” and understood. You got me! That’s the goal, I think – seeking input. Relatability is more important than praise…and practicality…revealing some of the scaffolding that held the book together – those themes – is the hope. Remember way back last summer? You and I had a fun exchange in comments about one of your insightful posts – about how helpful it is to exchange ideas here on WP. You likened it to a ‘virtual book club’. That’s stuck with me. Big hugs to you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m honored that you remember that, and, yes, it’s a rare thing to have one of those, and rarer still to find someone like you who brings people together AND truly welcomes feedback and embraces it. Can you imagine how wonderful the world would be with more of you?

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        1. Right back at you…more EW, I say. And YES I remember. I love connecting with you, dear one. xo! 🥰

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    2. I love that EW is already pushing for another book!! Yes!! ❤ ❤ ❤

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      1. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a tiny insinuation? 🙃

        Liked by 2 people

        1. You are on a roll!! 🙂 ❤

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  12. This one jumped out at me, “Elder care navigation and the challenge with comorbid conditions – physical, mental health and more.” My mom and I had a strong relationship, she had only one condition, cancer, and I still found the day after day care exhausting. It makes we appreciate how difficult it would be to care for someone at the end of life who I had a strained relationship with, who had multiple conditions to juggle. That would be a challenge. I look forward to reading your book. Hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Cheryl. So sorry about what your mother endured. I was fortunate in that I eventually found wonderful, supportive players who could see all that was unfolding for my mom. It seems none of us will be untouched by the challenges of elder care – both for our loved ones and the prospect of looking ahead, for ourselves. Big hugs back to you. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh, my goodness, where to begin? Your themes sound amazing. I try to see the good in life so I love seeing the focus on “Humor in the midst of madness.” The other one that deeply hits home is “Rethinking our parents as people; fractured souls doing their best.” I see now as an adult and father myself, that my dad was just doing the best that he could. He had some good moments and some bad ones. It makes me appreciate him more . . . Saying all that, it’s still interesting to me how memories or moments will sneak up on me. I think I’ve dealt with the feelings, but then I’ll remember something out of the blue and my emotions will still be very raw. I’ll shake my head in shock like “I thought I dealt with this.” I guess that’s where the writing comes into play, helping us deal with these emotions. I’m so happy for you Vicki. Love all the interest in your book. Congratulations and enjoy the launch. Can’t wait to get my copy! 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love, love, love what you shared, Brian — those moments that pop up when we ‘think we’ve dealt with’ something, emotions-wise, and there it is! Perplexing…and oh-so-human! Glad that a couple of the themes make sense to you. We’re all muddling through together, aren’t we? 😉

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      1. I had one of those moments the other day. It caught me completely off-guard. Just out of the blue as I was driving to pick up groceries. On one hand, I probably could have been overtaken with emotion (probably even a few tears.) On the other hand, I couldn’t help but breakout into a laugh at the bizarreness. And the sociology minor in me fascinated by it all. Yes, we really are all just muddling through!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. See…see…this is why we need to stick together…we the goofy who time travel and can be swept up in a second…tears and laughter. It all runs together, doesn’t it? Thanks for the smile, Brian! 😁

          Liked by 1 person

  14. So many of your bullet points I’ve lived through. Especially these:
    Understanding complicated family members – finding ways to love them anyway
    Tending to unresolved childhood pain when it follows us into adulthood
    Rethinking our parents as people; fractured souls doing their best
    Secrets and lies and how the weight of distortion impacts mental health

    Then there is the whole issue of elder care. My brother and I had different opinions and he moved ahead unilaterally and that’s a whole other relationship that hits your first point.

    I ordered your book and can’t wait to read it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Elizabeth. Appreciate your input…seems like many of us are in the same boat…but it’s good to have company, I say. I can’t wait to hear what you think…and I hope it will be worthy of your time. 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sure it will be worthy of my time! I betting it will be comforting and give me insight into my own childhood. I don’t say much about mine now because my dad is still alive and my feelings are more on the fear side of the equation.

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        1. Oh gosh…I understand that so well…wanting to be protective of other family members. Thank you for your kindnesses, Elizabeth! I appreciate you! 🥰

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  15. Congratulations on the book, Vicki. I look forward to hearing more. Please let me know when the book is available digitally.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Michelle! My publisher is saying late summer…I promise I’ll keep you posted. Appreciate your support and interest. 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  16. What a great post, Vicki! What I think I love most is the comments, where different themes are resonating with different people. I pre-ordered my copy and am anxiously awaiting it’s arrival. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Erin. I’m honored, grateful, humbled by your support and interest. And I agree – the comments and input are terrific. 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Each of those topics will have you providing us with your great insight! Again, congratulations on publishing this special book!

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    1. Thank you, Mary! I’m glad to know the topics/themes are of interest. 🥰

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  18. petespringerauthor Avatar
    petespringerauthor

    I’m very much interested in reading your book, Viki. The family dynamics is one of the most interesting angles of this story for me. I think your publisher should consider trying to get a Kindle or e-version of your book out early. I wish I would have done that sooner with my book. It’s important to ride the wave right from the start.

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    1. Thanks much, Pete…both for the interest in my book and the input about the Kindle version. Appreciate your tips! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I’ll look forward to your weekly posts Vicki. If I do miss any it’s only because I’m not on WP every day and life got busy, not because I don’t want to. Sounds like a full emotional palette full of interesting themes. 🌸

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Alegria! I appreciate your interest. Big smiles to you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  20. […] you so much for the feedback and input about the themes in my book, “Surviving Sue” .  I promised I’d provide a peek, once a week, into the […]

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  21. […] you so much for the feedback and input about the themes in my book, “Surviving Sue”. I promised I’d provide a peek, once a week, into the book, one tidbit at a time.  This […]

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  22. I finished reading Surviving Sue and loved every page of it. So how about a “Leave a Review” section here on this Surviving Sue site? I’ll happily write one, but where to put it? 💕🤔💕🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, yes – thank you so much for that suggestion! Here’s the link to the new page to provide comments in the “Leave a Reply” section: https://victoriaponders.com/surviving-sue/ and I hope…soon…the Good Reads page will be activated, too. xo! 🥰

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“Surviving Sue”, a special story about resiliency and love: Eckhartz Press (paperback) and eBook on Amazon.

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