I miss my dear friend Kathleen. She moved a few months ago (actually six months ago) but it feels like much more. Sure, we talk regularly and she keeps me posted on news from her new world. Adventures and fun in her new, sunny locale, but still – she’s a couple thousand miles away.
Kathleen pops in here on WordPress now and then and we trade silly text messages…and some that are more serious. The ways in which friends can “keep up” (as my Nanny used to say) are much improved these days. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to live the lives of those just a generation or two behind me where waiting for a letter in the mail or a telegram was the lone source of staying connected.
I sat looking at these sweet birds (in the first pic) this morning. A tradition that Kathleen and I started years ago and honestly, I don’t remember why! We’ve gifted each other little ceramic, metal and decorative birds for years and they’ve become even more special now that she’s far away. I enjoy looking at them because they remind me of her. And when I want to, I can bomb her phone with a few photos from my day and silly news from my world. Quick little bursts of ‘Hey – I’m thinking about you’.
I wonder…given all the many moves we experienced as a family as I grew up, if being able to remain connected with friends and family might’ve helped my mom/Sue feel less isolated and alone. Her demons were many but underneath the layers of dysfunction sat the heavy overlay of isolation and loneliness.
I’m not saying Sue’s misbehavior was driven by her lonesome feelings, but it certainly didn’t help. I wonder… if present day social media, the digital age might’ve helped her stay close to the many friends she said goodbye to over the years. My dad’s promotions were joyous for him, but the losses that Sue felt as we moved may have provoked her misdeeds related to manipulating facts about my sister, Lisa’s story – to generate significance and sympathy for herself.
Would Sue have fared better in life if she had FB, IG, Facetime? What’s App? Maybe so. Alone is a terrible place to be when you’ve experienced deep and abiding connections to others. I believe Sue carried that sense of loss with her, forcing her to cling tighter and become more entrenched in unhealthy behaviors over time.
This morning I think of Kathleen and the advantages I have in life. Most of all the ability to remain connected and in touch when distance makes sharing affection in person a challenge. Cheers to friends…cheers to little birds.
And P.S. I love the synchronicity of blogging friends. If you have a moment, check out my friend Brian’s post this morning on “Heart of the Matter”. We clearly had the same thing vibing in our heads and hearts today. Thinking about friendship. I love serendipity!
-Vicki 🥰
Victoria Ponders 
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