A Loss of Two-Thirds

I wrote a post a few months ago about my affection for John Muir and I’m learning that when I’m disconcerted about something, even this less-than-outdoorsy girl needs to get her feet on the ground, in nature, to work out heartaches.   

Yesterday I returned to a favorite garden – this time to visit the meditation area and Japanese gardens.  When hubster and I were there recently we didn’t get to all of the beloved nooks and crannies, so I took a solo sojourn.

Part of the tug to return came from the a-ha that we’d missed a beloved section of the garden with the bonsai trees.  Whoops.  Not sure how we did that we’re big meanderers and don’t follow a map.

On a rainy weekday morning, I suspected the bonsai area would be quiet and I looked forward to ambling about, maybe meditating on one of the nearby benches. 

Over the years I’ve admired the tender care required to lovingly nurture each delicate, miniature tree.  It’s a treat to watch the experts examine and carefully tend to each specimen.  Living things need all the love we can muster, and these tiny trees exemplify the outcome if care is offered in a cautious, contemplative way.  No big shears.  More consideration, treating each unique tree as a gift.  A singular treasure. 

One tree in particular called to me yesterday, enrobed in its very own light as a streak of sunshine invaded the overcast, lighting up its delicate branches.  I remember you, I thought.  The “mama and a baby” tree. Unique in the garden of bonsai delights:

Rarely do I read the details affixed to each tree’s display but my eyes were drawn to the little plaques for this specimen – declaring the “Ulmus minor” (elm) tree to be 80-90 years old and cultivated in the “mother-daughter” style.  Together forever, I thought.  Roots and limbs, branches and buds.

In that moment, I knew why the bonsai garden had called to me, beckoning my heart to return.  A dear friend lost her young adult daughter recently and her pain consumes my thoughts.  I wish I knew how to provide comfort.  I cannot. I can only bear witness to the tragedy of losing a talented, beautiful girl who, by my measuring stick, had at least 2/3 of her life left to live.  At just 32 years old her light was luminous, foretelling years of opportunity and adventure.  Where did that light go?  I hear my friend’s silent wails as she asks, How can it be gone? 

I have no wisdom but lie awake wondering about the adventures and accomplishments that awaited this bright light had she lived more than a 1/3 of her journey.  So much unspent potential…a loss that defies understanding.

As I sat near mother and daughter elm, bonsai-style, I imagined the everlasting connection that exists between my friend and her daughter. Love never fades.

Vicki ❤

First photo courtesy of Pexels. Other photos my own.



53 responses to “A Loss of Two-Thirds”

    1. Thank you for that, Jules. xo 💔

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Losing someone so young is such a tragedy. Condolences to all.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, VJ. ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Thinking of you and your friend. This is unimaginable heartache.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you, LA. ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  3. My condolences, Vicki.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I have wondered the same thoughts when I hear of a child who left early due to some long term disease, like cancer. Where they were healthy, happy and bursting with potential – and then worn down to that last burst of distinctive energy – and gone to us forever. That kind of pain is enduring, for sure.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for that, so much, dear Churchmousie. Yes. Healthy, happy and bursting with potential. You’ve described the anguish better than I did. Appreciate your comment. Hugs to you! 💕

      Liked by 2 people

  5. A beautiful tribute. Sympathies and prayers for you and your friend ♥️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, my friend Michael. Hugs to you this morning. 💕

      Liked by 2 people

  6. A wonderful way to remember your friends daughter.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Love you, Kathleen. Thank you. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  7. A poignant reminder of the fleeting nature of life. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hugs to you, Ally…and thank you. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Thinking of your friend. I’m a lover of words, love their power and the emotions they can bring on, but there’s really nothing you can say. I think the best you can do is offer her a hug, a shoulder to cry on and help hold her up. We’re not supposed to outlive our children.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Amen to all of that. And you’re right. The words – all sorts – swim in my brain, wondering how I can help but for now I just need to be present and ready…and let her lead. Thanks for that, Brian. 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Beautifully written Vicki. Clearly a reason you were meant to revisit the garden on this occasion. My condolences to all during this hard time.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Deb. You captured exactly how I felt — as if I was supposed to make that return trip to see the bonsai. Hugs to you for your kindness. ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  10. My heart goes out to all who know the family. I think of my Grandma Leora and how she got through losing those three sons, ages 20-22, during the war, then being widowed shortly after.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes…my goodness. Leora knew heartache. If only we knew how to shield parents from that kind of agony. Thank you so much, Joy. 💕

      Like

  11. It’s interesting how infrequently we encounter bonsai trees and yet how much they have to tell us. The loving care with which they are tended surely is a fitting metaphor for that which is truly important to us. Losing a child is such a traumatic, unfathomable experience. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for that, Jane. Hubby Paul dabbled with a bonsai tree years ago – as a hobby – and it requires oodles of patience. I love your point about the metaphorical aspect. Yes, yes. Appreciate you…and btw…I hope all went well and you are recuperating nicely. Thinking of you these past couple of days. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks, Vicki. I’m looking forward to feeling like I’m really recuperating! Lying in a hospital bed all doped up with opioids doesn’t really count, even though I know it’s a part of recovery!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Sending loads of healing thoughts! Take care! 🥰

          Liked by 1 person

  12. What a beautiful post Vicky. My sympathies to you and your friend. It must be heartbreaking not knowing what to say or how to comfort your friend. As Brian said, there are no words – you just need to be there for her, being the caring person you are. But I think you must also be struggling, seeing your friend in pain and feeling so helpless. Also considering the futility and waste of the promise of a young life – it always seems so unfathomable. Sending hugs Vicky .. 🤗🤗🤗

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are such a love, dear Brenda. Yes…you are so right. Feeling helpless but we writing types are so good to each other – offering support and encouragement. Thank you for being you! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Love and hugs to all because I too have been at a loss of words to one of my longtime friends who lost her 31 year old daughter (and I had the same thoughts and feelings as you). It’s inexplicable and sooo sad to lose someone with so much potential from our plane of existence.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are so kind, Sheila. Thank you….you’re right. Inexplicable is the perfect word. Hugs to you! ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  14. My thoughts and prayers are with both of you as you struggle through this most difficult time. Mother Nature has a way of healing – I’m glad you were able to return to meditate in it!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Mary. ❤️

      Like

  15. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend’s daughter. How heartbreaking but so noteworthy you were drawn to the mother daughter bonsai tree.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Much love to you for your big heart. Thank you, dear Elizabeth. ❤️

      Like

  16. I’m so sorry for your friend’s loss, and the turmoil your must feel when there is so little you can do to ease their pain. It’s truly heartbreaking. The symbolism of the permanently intertwined bonsai is beautiful, though. It reminds me of a quote from Louis de Bernières. Though referencing romantic love, I imagine it could just as easily apply to a parent-child relationship: “…we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.” Sending you all my love, Vikci. xoxo ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my goodness…what a beautiful quote, Erin. Thank you! I will hold on to that for sharing purposes. You’re right…what a perfect accompaniment to the symbolism of the mother-daughter bonsai. Xo….Xo…❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  17. John Muir is one of my mentors. I kid you not. I know, I know, he’ been gone for years, and no, I don’t have conversations w/ him from beyond the vale… So, a few years ago now, I was on this kick of finding collections of letters an journals of famous people, so I could get a better sense of who they are. (I was already hooked on Muir, just from some of the anecdotal stories I’d read, after getting the book John Muir His Life And Letters and Other Writings, my interest in him as a person went to a whole new level. So yea, I would say, he has impacted my life as much as any person I know… Reading this post about your friend and the loss of her daughter, it gives me pause. There is absolutely not a darn thing a person can say to a grieving parent @ a time like that, except to be present. Thinking of both you and your friend Vicki. DM

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love knowing that Muir was such an influence! Thank you, Doug. Appreciate your wisdom and kindness. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  18. petespringerauthor Avatar
    petespringerauthor

    What a tragic thing for any parent to go through! To watch a close friend experience this and not being able to comfort her must be a challenge. Of course, we can’t but put ourselves in her shoes.

    I would most definitely think of the bonsai tree as symbolic.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Pete. Appreciate you! ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  19. What an amazingly and achingly beautiful post. That you were called back to that garden during this time of loss is stunning. The meaning you were able to derive from being near the plants – so symbolically beautiful.

    You know how when you are mad at someone and can’t quite look at them? I’m feeling that way about Mt. Rainier. I’m so sorry for the loss of this bright light of a young woman.

    Sending love to everyone!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are such a love. Yes. I understand exactly what you mean. Thank you, dear Wynne. Sending big hugs and cuddles to all of you…especially Mr. D, Miss O and Coop! xoxo! (One of them needs to give you a hug from me…take your pick!) 💕💕💕

      Liked by 2 people

  20. To grow a happy tree, you’ll need to place it in the right conditions.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I’m so sorry to hear about this tragedy Vicki. Wishing you, the parents, and all involved peace and healing 💚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Many thanks to you, my friend. ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Love never fades. Wishing your friend strength in her journey. And faith in unanswered questions. My deepest sympathies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Much love…thank you so much. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  23. What a beautiful connection you have made Vicki about connections and eternal roots we share with our loved ones! I’m so sorry for your friends loss. There is no way to understand such loss but she is lucky to have you to share her grief and mourn with you. Sometimes that’s all we can do. Now I want a bonsai tree of my own. They have always intrigued me and I never really understood why. Maybe it’s the love that shapes and designs their growth. Hugs, C

    Like

    1. I love all this Cheryl goodness that you’re serving up to me this afternoon. Grateful for every bit…thank you, dear one. Big hugs to you! 😘😘😘

      Like

Leave a reply to WritingfromtheheartwithBrian Cancel reply

“Surviving Sue”, a special story about resiliency and love: Eckhartz Press (paperback) and eBook on Amazon.

Peek Inside “Surviving Sue

Visit Resources on Atkinson Group Solutions for more.

Podcasts

Listen to the “Sharing the Heart of the Matter” podcast.

You can find our podcast on Apple, Amazon, Spotify and Pocket Casts.  Please subscribe!

Workshops

Chicago Writers Association Speakers BureauWriting for Wellness; Navigating Elder Care with Grace & Humor; How to Create a Writing Platform; AI for Caregivers

About Me

Learn about five books that inspired and supported my writing journey by visiting my personalized book review page on Shepherd.

BLOG ARCHIVES

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE!