“We’ve all survived a Sue in our lives in one way or another. It’s a personal narrative that hits our hearts.” -Elizabeth
I love Elizabeth’s feedback and wisdom. Yes — maybe your nemesis wasn’t named “Sue” but increasingly as readers dig into “Surviving Sue” I receive input that the challenges I wrote about are familiar. When readers offer praise and support – pleased that I found my way through my bumpy life with Sue – I routinely receive the same follow-up query: “How did you do it? You know…survive Sue?”. Oh…that’s a big question.
From time to time, I share snippets in these “Peek Inside” posts to give readers a glimpse of what worked for me, but that’s all I can offer. What will serve you well on your healing journey? I can’t say but I will forever encourage you to take some first steps if you haven’t yet. Or begin again, if you need to. Which brings me to the point of this post…
We are approaching a tricky time of the year for many of us. Despite many disappointing holiday experiences in my family, I was ever-hopeful that normalcy was possible. Within reach. I shared glimpses in “Surviving Sue” of my mother’s raucous behavior during family get togethers and social events of all sorts. For my sister Lisa and I still, we greet the memories each year and try to lean into the sunnier aspects. They’re there…but I need to be nimble in order to sideline the painful flashbacks to protect Lisa. Between the two of us, she will always be the most vulnerable, given her disabilities.
A client asked me last week – after recounting her Thanksgiving family fiasco – how I manage to keep the mental health wolves at bay this time of year. A great question and increasingly, my answer is best summarized in the lovely infographic (see below) provided by the talented folks at SAMHSA – The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
No one needs another list of self-care tips, but a gentle reminder to do what works best for YOU is always good. Most days my work with others is like that. Concierge-like, less directed because part of the recovery process involves feeling the ground beneath you as you build confidence. Step by step.
Even so, I often share that the two tips I’ve highlighted are my go-to’s. Taking care of myself involves writing. Always. Sometimes for myself, sometimes for you, dear readers. Even if I disappeared from blogging land tomorrow and chose not to share myself in this forum, I’d still be writing because it’s how I get what’s meddling and muddy on the inside out – and into the light of day. It’s where healing still occurs for me.
The other tip that I adore? It’s not JUST the advice to ‘follow a regular schedule…and build in time to take breaks’. That’s good stuff…but I love SAMHSA’s gentle recognition that self-care is often a luxury. Look at the graphic…see the words “If you can…”? Yup. Some days? Ya just can’t. Not gonna happen and you shouldn’t add to your own misery by feeling you’re a failure at self-care. No, no. We…you, me…we do what we can, when we can.
Thank you so much to Elizabeth for her lovely, thoughtful comment. As always, I appreciate each and every reader of “Surviving Sue”. Keep the input coming…and take care of yourself.
Vicki ❤
Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate your interest and feedback about “Surviving Sue” and I’m so pleased to have great reviews on Amazon and Goodreads…and I welcome more. If you’ve enjoyed the book and my story, please pass along your positivity to a fellow reader.
Victoria Ponders 
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