Almost a year ago, I wrote the post below and revisiting it today was a joy. I love how memories and magical moments from the past can come in duos and trios if I’m aware. Today’s gift? I’ve got trios and heroes on my mind – three men who mattered in my life: My father, an uncle and a dear cousin (described in the post below from last April) and in my Heart of the Matter post today. Thanks for reading…it’s a trip into my heart. ❤
Can you think of the most cherished compliment you ever received? Mine was from a cousin who studied literature and was knowledgeable and wise and had a way of delivering confidence when I needed it the most. Knowing that he saw much of the madness during my growing up years and was willing to lean in, offer support (even when it came decades later) was nourishment for the soul.
He loved J.D. Salinger and this quote:
“She wasn’t doing a thing I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.”
I was unfamiliar with the quote…but I liked it. I think it’s actually from a short story called “A Girl I Know”. In any event, it’s the closest version of an actual quote that I could find because my cousin paraphrased it to me, saying, “You know, there’s a Salinger saying…about a girl holding the universe together…just by standing there, observing. You do that.”
His “you do that” gave me the grit I needed a few years ago to keep moving even when I thought the undertow of life, dealing with too much at once was about to pull me under. I’m not alone. I think many of us feel the weight of family obligations. A sense of duty to others but sometimes those who need our help later in life were perpetrators of pain along the way.
Maybe the passage of time shrouds the details but I’m the type who carries pain because I often feel the universe IS riding on my stamina and I don’t slow down to unpack unless absolutely necessary. I know, I know. But I’m getting better at it. “Unload as you go” my favorite professor used to say. Smarty pants, yes he was.
I need to find the Salinger source material and read the short story to understand the context, but in the meantime, that casual observation, from years ago, about my strength – whether misguided or not – sticks with me today and it DID help me navigate some trying times. A compliment worth savoring.
My cousin’s kindness? Not unlike the example that my dad often set as he demonstrated how to hold the universe together with his quiet grace and patience, generously tending to others without fanfare. Yep – mom was often the recipient, but in a story I share in my Heart of the Matter post today, I remember how my dad’s kindness helped a beloved great uncle participate in family gatherings. I’d love to introduce you to dear Uncle Fuzzy. Take a peek.
Vicki ❤
Victoria Ponders 
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