Thinking About Joy

Children seem to have a knack for seeing the obvious and pointing it out to we, the elders, who lose our glimmer and perspective as we do all of the “adult” things. The responsible things. The things that are part and parcel of building a life, sustaining relationships, doing our best to nurture both family and careers. On good days, we find time for ourselves as well.

When pockets of hmm surface, I’m learning to slow down and receive, summon my inner child who sees hope more handily. If I pay attention, messages arrive in a whoosh. Sometimes well-chosen words popping in and lingering. Making me think.

I had a moment like that when I read Dr. Gerald Stein’s recent article where he acknowledged a truth, expressed in a way that was new to me. Fresh and captivating, it stopped me in my tracks.

Here’s a snippet of what Dr. Stein wrote, reflecting on psychotherapy and the nature and nuances of the therapist-client relationship:

Not every knot must be untied.

How many knots have I experienced, firsthand? How many have I acknowledged in individuals I’ve helped in my therapeutic roles? How many have I observed as I look at the world around me, identifying the collective knots?

I’m grateful to Dr. Stein for bringing insight to me. A thoughtful reminder that offering empathy, listening, being with one another is a powerful act. We may not untie our individual or societal “knots”, but the act of coming together with kindness counts. It matters. Conveyed, perhaps in the stark similarity between two very disparate words:

Untie and Unite

Two words. Vastly different connotations (antonyms – almost?) when two unassuming letters are swapped, transforming Untie into Unite. That’s my hmm…my glimmer.

It’s all in how I perceive.

Receive.

See what’s in front of me.

Many of my personal development milestones and successes in life came from unity. Being together with a well-chosen individual or like-minded many. Sharing the same values and dreams.

Unite.

Take that as you like. A political commentary about what matters most in the U.S. right now. An expression from me to you about urgency of protecting our planet, taking care of the people in need. Time spent finger pointing and blame-laying? The name calling and incivility? Time wasted. Especially when unity calls.

I’ll leave you with a quote from writer and philosopher Aldous Huxley. You might say he was thinking about joy…when he wrote:

“The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.”

-Aldous Huxley

Vicki 😊


Where does my joy come from? Here’s one of my all-time favorite posts about my parents and it makes me weep when I read it, even now. Gratitude will do that. Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – At the Boulevard – Victoria Ponders

Check out this link to learn more about my book, “Surviving Sue”.

Surviving Sue | Eckhartz Press



41 responses to “Thinking About Joy”

  1. I think one of the blessings of having a young child is you see the world with your inner child’s eyes and it is a gift.

    I love the advice about not needing to untie every knot. There is no point and it can be a futile attempt. Focus on unity instead.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Ab. You got me! Focus on unity. Yes! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love these and the re-set of the approach to life. the quote from Huxley is so spot-on and I believe this and know it to be true. at times, people have commented that I’m ‘like a child in my approach to life,’ and I consider it a compliment of sorts, even if that is not the way it may have been intended. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love that, Beth. I’d take it as a huge compliment! But I hear you…some will never understand. Grateful to you for all the wonderful glimmers you bring forward. Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “Coming together with kindness counts”, oh, yes!!! Let’s shout it from the rooftops, Vicki! 😊💕

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Jane! Using our voices. Xo! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Huxley uses a word adults don’t think about so often. Or at least, so I think. Enthusiasm. When we putting together ROAMcare we kept losing our footing tracking what we expected our endpoint to be. Desire. Drive. Empathy. All worthy but never quite what we thought we were missing until we hit upon it – the universal missing ingredient. Enthusiasm. It is childlike, exciting, expectant. It’s knowing that you’re allowed to play with the knots tying us together without always looking for the secret to freeing them. I like the idea of being united rather than untied ,but however we journey, I want to go there enthusiastically.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow…how do I say thank you when the comment’s more thoughtful than the post? Truly! Thank you for sharing such an important point, Michael – enthusiasm! So often overlooked and yet it’s a key ingredient in building unity, trust. As you said, “the universal missing ingredient”. Grateful to you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hardly could I ever be more thoughtful than you. I just respond with the thoughts you encourage, and trust they fit in 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow – I love this beautiful call for unity, Vicki! Realizing that we all share this world and probably are more alike than different. So beautiful. I love the way you untied this message about uniting! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, dear one! More alike than different! Perfectly put. Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  6. petespringerauthor Avatar
    petespringerauthor

    Amen to unity and civility. That’s what I find on the blogs I follow and what is often missing on other social media forums. You help foster those traits by your kind and empathetic nature, Vicki

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right back at you, Pete. Thank you for exhibiting all of those admirable qualities, my friend! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I love the connection you so profoundly uncovered for us, between untie and unite. There is joy in untying the knot, and also in unity. And we don’t need to untie every knot to feel joy. Some are best left in place. Like the ones that allow you to keep your boat secure in safe harbour during a summer storm.
    Whether we tie or untie, Joy is always there, we just need to recognize it. When we take it slow, dive deeper and allow ourselves to feel all the feelings we experience it.
    Beautiful post Vicki. It’s also about gratitude, you’re absolutely right. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love, love, love the imagery you bring forward, Alegria. Yes! Knots give us something to hold on to, security – just as you suggest with boats in safe harbors during storms. So beautifully expressed, this: “Whether we tie or untie, joy is always there, we just need to recognize it.” Thank you for that. I’m grateful for you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  8. There is so much goodness here, Vicki, that I don’t even know where to begin! 💕

    “Not every knot must be untied” is a genius idea, stated so simply. It take takes courage to let go and walk away, and it’s sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves. And it ties in nicely with Huxley’s quote about carrying a child’s spirit, when we can observe so clearly how readily kids let things go and moving moving forward with joyful enthusiasm.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Erin. It makes me smile, knowing that it hits you that way. Good, good. And you, my friend. You set an example – often – of courage and how to best take care of self. Thank you for bringing that in all that you do, write, share — including all the wonderful things you write about with joyful enthusiasm and the wonder from children. Big hugs! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Wonderful post reminding us that it’s the little people that teach us best, Vicki💗

    Like

    1. Beautifully put, dear Cindy! Thank you so much. 🥰

      Like

  10. Ha! I just posted a Huxley quote yesterday, Vicki! Great minds. So true about children too, as we watched our three granddaughters play like fiends on Saturday. So much Energy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my gosh! I’m sorry I missed that…but you know. You’re my synchronicity sister! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I love Dr. Stein’s comment. It’s something I could use right now having a difficult time with some friends. The best answer is kindness and to not untie the knot.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for sharing that, Elizabeth. It hits me that way, too. Empowering. Sending hugs! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  12. What do us adults know anyway? The smart ones are the kids! I love this message, unity and learning like a child. Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Brian! You’re demonstrating Michael’s point so well — live life with enthusiasm! 🥰😉🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Great post, Vicki. Your post and the Aldous Huxley’s quote reminded me of this Bible verse: “Truly I say to you, unless you change and become like children,” and the explanation of the verse that I found in a Bible commentary: “The special attributes of children which he would recommend are humility, unworldliness, simplicity, and teachableness—the direct contraries of self-seeking, worldliness, distrust, and conceit.” It will benefit us to be child-like sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How perfect, Edward! Thank you for that. I love the connection you made — grateful to you for sharing! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome, and thank you for writing this post and for helping us stretch our minds. 🫶🏼

        Liked by 1 person

  14. I love your post, especially “being with one another is a powerful act.” And how you add empathy and listening to that. So it’s not two people sitting next to each other while they scroll through social media on their cell phones. It’s actively being together. 🌞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! You said that so well, Dave. Actively…being together. Thanks for that! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Oh, so many beautiful and-provoking ideas all wrapped up into one delicious bundle. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Xo, Jules. Thank you! Love you! 🥰

      Like

  16. so many takeaways from this post- UNTIE and UNITE, and “The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.”

    And not needing to UNTIE everything – something to remember – Thanks, My friend – XOXOXV

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Big hugs!! Thank you! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

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