“We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life.”
– Carl Jung
Learning from others helps me see past the inadvertent disguises I wear. Most often, a comforting mask of certainty. Knowingness.
Surprises come when I can recognize a growth opportunity. An opening to embrace what I might overlook. Seeing the world through someone else’s eyes.
This happens to me, again and again, with my sweet disabled sister, Lisa. Due to her developmental disabilities, Lisa doesn’t have the intellectual capacity to overthink. From where she sits, kindness is obvious, and cruelty is seen for what it is. No artifice. No exploration of hidden meaning or underlying intentions.
While there are times when Lisa’s inability to see nuances is challenging, more often than not, her plainspoken approach to assessing the world around her works.
And if I listen, I learn from her.
Thanks to the proactive and talented team surrounding Lisa at her special needs workshop, she was given an opportunity to be hired as a lunch time receptionist in the front office. As a regular employee.
Lisa participated in new employee training, completed the onboarding with other, non-disabled staff and received the same instructions about job expectations and the company culture of service to others.
During Lisa’s training, she shared every morsel with me in her evening phone calls. Challenged by the expectations of greeting visitors, receiving packages and being the go-to for questions of all sorts, Lisa told me everything in her ‘headline news’ each day.
Most noteworthy? Lisa’s made mistakes and plenty of them. But rather than crumble, she’s remained resilient. Telling me of her gaffes and goofs but every single time, she’s followed her disclosures with a gratitude statement, along these lines:
“Even though I made mistakes, they really like me. They told me it’s okay. I’m learning and I’m doing great.”
Which of course makes me smile, smile, smile. Especially Lisa’s emphasis on “they really like me”. Lisa’s thriving in an environment where inclusivity isn’t just a buzz word. It’s her reality.
I try to hide my rush of emotion, the catch in my voice when Lisa adds, in a whisper:
“I feel like I belong. I’m like the others.”
Throughout her life, Lisa’s sought nothing more than acceptance. Despite her disabilities, she’s keenly aware that she requires help to understand and navigate the world around her. Lisa knows she can’t think…or see…or move like others. She’ll never drive a car, or live alone or get married, have children, but her ability to be an employee, “just like the others”, is a meaningful milestone.
A sign that she’s worthy.
Which makes me think about Jung’s quote and my interpretation of it. No matter how much I want to believe I know myself and the world around me, if I allow it, my own mask of certainty falls away, and I meet myself again and again through Lisa’s eyes. My sister who reminds me that being connected and included is the greatest gift of all. Even better? It can be the simplest grace to offer. And receive.
Vicki 😊
More posts about my amazing sister, Lisa, can be found here.
Check out this link to learn more about my book: “Surviving Sue”.
Victoria Ponders 
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