Do you know this quote?
It’s one of my favorites but thanks to my friend, Dr. Gerald Stein, I’ve learned the attribution to Nietzche might be suspect. Given that neither of us can find the book or source material to verify the attribution, this quote might be an anonymous gem. No matter — Nietzche or not — I love the plain-spoken wisdom reminding me the world isn’t out to get me. Often the tussle is me vs. me. Here’s what I’m thinking:
Thought #1: Sometimes I need to step out of the ring. Take a nap. Have a snack. Not necessarily in that order. The reverse works quite well. Better, even. Snack…then nap.
Thought #2: I’ve learned I can fall – far too easily – into a loathsome habit of clinging to malaise. I soak it up and lug it around. Frustration that might not be my own, but it lives and breathes in the atmosphere and then my psyche when anxiety and angst are present. Prompting rumination…the resurrection of old concerns and haunting thoughts. Some of us possess the torturous talent for replaying conversations and tense moments – the sort that remain emblazoned in our emotional rear-view mirror.
Thought #3: These hazards are often omnipresent during holiday time.
My phone lit up last Friday with belated Thanksgiving wishes from clients and friends…but another undercurrent was evident; people catching their breath after intense family interactions. There was a common denominator in the conversations, which brings me to…
Thought #4: When we’re tired, we might be primed and ready to take the bait…respond to a remnant of a long-ago conflict or a taunt new and irksome. Stuff – as Nietzche said – you may have conquered, and yet it’s easy to get sucked in.
Respond when we don’t want to…perhaps with words ill-chosen or a tone that adds tension.
There are antidotes. Accepting people for who they are is one tactic. Fatalistic as it sounds, there are times when hoping for behavioral change is misguided. Folly.
Another response? One that three people I care about took advantage of over the long holiday weekend:
Removing themselves from the stressful situation.
Thought #5: One of my favorite conversations over the weekend was with a former student who knew when to make an exit from a toxic gathering. He loves the Luke Combs and Tracy Chapman duet of Chapman’s iconic song, “Fast Cars”, and he shared it was his getaway anthem. (And if you haven’t seen their performance from the 2024 Grammy’s, take a look. Fills me up every time I watch and listen, and I know I’m not alone.)
I’ve learned Chapman’s lyrics speak to individuals who’ve suffered a variety of pain and trauma. For my student, the rush of getting wind on his face…driving away from a tense situation was liberating. (Of course, I asked some questions about driving safely, etc. I love “Fast Cars”, too, but couldn’t help myself. Safety first. Always.)
Musings from the weekend. From me to you…and a few people I adore…a song…and Nietzche, too. Take care!
Vicki 💝
Hi – I’m Victoria, Vicki, Dr. Vicki. I hold a doctorate in Adult Education and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and author of Surviving Sue | Eckhartz Press.
Check out this link to learn more about my book “Surviving Sue” – all about resilience and love.
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Victoria Ponders 
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