Someone told me once that we really write for ourselves.
Maybe so. But what I know for sure? I’ll admit that I enjoy my periodic posts titled, “When You Crack Yourself Up“. Depending upon my mood, degree of sleep deprivation or frustration with the world, it’s anyone’s guess what might strike my fancy and send me into delirium. Routine comedy? Sure. I love silly sitcoms and funny men like Jim Gaffigan and John Mullaney. Nate Bargatze, too. I also love hijinks. Especially the slow-simmering variety.
Once upon a time, hubster Paul played an epic, slow-simmering prank on my mom, Sue. As readers of “Surviving Sue” know, my dear husband was a lifeline for me during some of the most tumultuous years with my mom. Sue was a bit leery of Paul as my defender – the new blood in the family – but over time she learned to admire his silly sense of humor.
Example? Sight gags.
I don’t believe I’ve told this story before (but if I have and forgot about it…play along. Deal?)
Whenever we’d jet across the country for an extended visit with my folks – after Paul and I were married – Sue would go to great lengths to larder up and stock the pantry with all of Paul’s favorite snacks. Cashews in abundance and ‘fresh’ M&Ms. Plain, no peanuts, thank you very much.
Sue surprised Paul one year with a three-gallon brandy snifter of his favorite, colorful candy. (Why she had an oversized brandy snifter was a passing concern…I’d hoped she’d been using it as a terrarium and not barware…and I hoped she cleaned it first, but I digress…)
When we arrived on Christmas Eve, Sue proudly pointed to a shelf behind the television which held the massive “offering” of M&M’s, for Paul. If I had to guess, I’d say Sue dumped at least five pounds’ worth of rainbow discs into the big glass goblet.
It was chuckle-worthy, for sure. Paul laughed and vowed he’d plow through all of it over the course of our week-long visit while Sue bet against him; chiding him by saying, “Your eyes are bigger than your belly, buddy.” [Side note: I’ve wondered about the folksy colloquialism over the years – it’s one that Sue – who was mired in dysfunctional eating – used often.]
But back to the big snifter.
Without tipping me off in the slightest, Paul pulled an all-nighter on Christmas Eve…staying up, but not for Santa. Nope. He had an epic joke in mind, and it involved sorting, by color, the mountain of M&M’s and meticulously layering them back into the big snifter. I’m no geologist, but the color-coded strata were pretty darn impressive…mimicking slices of the Earth’s history in the Grand Canyon but in technicolor, groovy hues.
Around dawn on Christmas morning, Paul gently returned his confectionary handiwork to its spot behind the television and waited. I think he took a shower and continued about his business, greeting the rest of the family as we rose and traded “Merry Christmas” greetings over coffee, waiting for the quiches to bake and debating who should open the first present. At least an hour went by before anyone noticed Paul’s M&M masterpiece. And then, finally. Sue’s reaction came and it didn’t disappoint.
Barreling through the family room with a tray of mini coffee cakes and quiches, Sue nearly dropped our Christmas breakfast all over the floor when she screamed – in wild delight – when she saw the M&M display. It was a ‘gotcha moment‘, for sure. Given her wail, it was a Christmas miracle that Sue didn’t upend the tray as she rolled with laughter.
I don’t remember all of the revelry that followed as Sue flew into the living room and gave Paul an enthusiastic hug, but I remember her words:
“You got me…you got me good!”
I believe that might be the biggest lead-in ever to a fresh giggle…but stick with me. I’ve got a new prank to share with you. No, it doesn’t involve M&M’s, but it IS something sweet…of another sort. A silly little trick that Paul played on me last week and true to form, he watched and waited.
My dear friend Linda gave me the most darling sculpture last year for my birthday and I named him Herbert..Herbie. He’s the little guy hanging ten in this pic – on the bottom:
I adored him…and Paul did too, and we found ourselves moving Herbie around the house but keeping him near because he’s such an impish dude…normally seen standing upright, I might add.
This year? Herbie got a friend. A buddy. A snowy-white companion. As we contemplated whether the pair should stick together or hang out in separate locations, they traveled around the house over the past few weeks. And while I’m ashamed to admit it, for a couple of days recently they were both AWOL. I didn’t notice they’d disappeared. At first.
Mr. Hello-My-Name-is-Paul-and-I-Like-Visual-Pranks struck again, placing Herbie #1 and Herbie #2 in artful poses, suggesting that they were both near and far as they tried to communicate with one another. No sightlines…living an ‘upstairs/downstairs’ life as they sat on separate shelves.
Paul imagined they were attempting new-fangled forms of chatting…beak-to-foot and vice versa. Tapping out messages in Morse code – Herbie style?
As an alternative interpretation, I suggested that perhaps Herbie #1 is feeling the weight of the world and is doing his best to prop up his friend, and the Universe…with his tiny feet and gigantic beak. Ahem.
I am Herbie and I am strong!
Paul claims they were in these adorable poses for three days before I noticed. That seems incredible…but on the other hand, some days feel like a dumpster fire right now with brazen and hurtful decisions being made left and right in Washington, D.C. I’m a bit…distracted. (If you’re in the U.S. and are so inclined, please reach out to your representatives…Senators…Congresspersons to share your horror if you’re feeling as I am. Worried. Anxious.)
But Paul? Always thinking about how to lighten my mood? He gets the win. I’m lucky to be married to someone with a good sense of humor and an abundance of patience. In all things. Including his comedic timing and willingness to wait for it…wait for it…until a joke lands.
Thanks for coming along and reading. I hope you find something chuckle-worthy today. I’m rooting for you. So are Herbie #1 and Herbie #2. And Paul, of course.
-Vicki 💝
“When you crack yourself up” – Victoria Ponders
Hi – I’m Victoria, Vicki, Dr. Vicki. I hold a doctorate in Adult Education and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and author of Surviving Sue | Eckhartz Press.
Check out this link to learn more about my book “Surviving Sue” – all about resilience and love.
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Victoria Ponders 
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