“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
-Charles M. Blow
Have you heard? Author and journalist Charles Blow is leaving the New York Times as he steps into a fellowship at Harvard. Even if you haven’t followed him at the Times, you might know him from his work on MSNBC.
I thought about his impactful TedTalk in 2023 – when he referenced the “tired and exhausting dance” in the United States when it comes to equality and equity. I promise it’s a TedTalk worth watching.
Blow’s ever-insightful social commentary about empathy – that the absence of it is often the source of malice – became exceptionally relevant for me last week.
I had two client interactions about career and job search concerns. One dear one is a brand-new practitioner in the counseling world who is questioning the long-term funding situation in her current job. The other? She’s a seasoned human resources professional intent on reframing her experience and master’s degree in industrial/organizational psychology so she can exit her government job. For many years she enjoyed her work AND the stability, but the erosion is in progress.
These two people have different skills sets, but the same core strengths and values. I have no doubt that their deep listening skills will be needed in the coming months and years but the hesitations they’re experiencing about trusting themselves, their decision-making is a common bond between them.
One said, “I wish I’d majored in something more useful…or technical…like Business or Accounting.” I smiled. The dear one who failed Accounting twice as an undergrad…and not because she didn’t try or have the accounting acumen. She was single-handedly running the LGBTQIA alliance and volunteering in her grandmother’s retirement community…for fun.
I’ve heard these laments before. Majoring in Psychology or anything in the ‘helping professions’ can draw criticism. That’s nothing new; I’ve fielded questions for decades about whether or not a degree in Psychology is a risky proposition, but the concerns are becoming more persistent…in my teeny tiny sample set…
Is the helping hesitancy surfacing, in part, because the next generation of helpers is trying to figure out how to unravel the chaos that appears tightly interwoven with personality deficits and mental health challenges for some who wield power – elected or not? Perhaps. They’re feeling torn between seeking safety and stability for themselves – and their families – versus embracing their gifts and talents.
When did empathy become politicized…instead of humanized?
I have thoughts…about the importance of leaning into the helping professions, majoring in counseling, psychology, social work, human services and yes, even political science and history (thinking of the dear one who is considering law school to become a civil rights attorney).
Do it, do it, do it…if it’s in your heart.
Don’t waste time debating, I say, when asked for my opinion. If you’re lucky enough for a calling to smack you in the face, it’s more than a message. It’s your opportunity to serve and in the end, life is about just that. Sharing your gifts, lifting up others in need. Your heart and your empathetic reservoir will grow in the process, developing caring capacities you didn’t know you had. For what it’s worth, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
-Vicki 💝
Charles M. Blow | Speaker | TED
Hi – I’m Victoria, Vicki, Dr. Vicki. I hold a doctorate in Adult Education and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and author of Surviving Sue | Eckhartz Press.
Check out this link to learn more about my book “Surviving Sue” – all about resilience and love.
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Victoria Ponders 
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