Nothing delights me more than a check-in from a former student. So much joy! Dear ones finding time to share what’s going on in their lives – both challenges and triumphs.
When I’m sought as a listening ear about decision-making, I take the responsibility very seriously. Anyone who knows me well knows I can be a horrifically impatient listener…but…when weighty choices loom and my input might hold value, I’m honored, humbled and I slow down. A lot.
It’s a practiced art in my professional world but in my personal life, I can pick and choose and might slide into interrogation mode when I detect a ramble in the making – hoping I can scoot the speaker along. Get to the point, if there is one. Shameful, I know.
Without a doubt, the dear hubster Paul takes the biggest licking when my listening is lacking. He’s a pause and reflect kind of dude; we’ve been married forever but I still learn from him. Fast isn’t better. It’s just fast.
Despite being super busy last week, I screeched to a full stop when one of my former students, “Joanna” called. We talked a few months ago when she was in debate mode about how to handle the stresses of her job, feeling overwhelmed.
This time? I heard a peaceful resolve in her voice and knew immediately that she’d made decisions, but she played coy, burying the lead with a dilly of an opening line:
“I remembered that Walt Whitman quote the other day.”
I wasn’t tracking. Not even a wee bit. But Joanna pressed on.
Given the challenges for many in higher education these days, I knew she was contemplating a big change – shifting gears to leave her politically charged position working for an embattled university president to return to her rural roots – and lifelong goal of starting an organic farming co-op. A risky proposition, she said, “But you and Walt sealed the deal.”
Now I’m super silent. “Come again…me and Walt…as in Whitman?” The fuzz factor in my brain was real.
“Yah. The thing about finding your path if you relax and let your mind wander. Don’t you remember?”
We start face timing. I need to see her face, thinking it will fill gaps, reduce the aforementioned fuzz. When she pops on screen, she looks healthy and happy, up to her elbows in topsoil. I hoped it was topsoil…
We talked politics and mutual frustrations while I searched through my quote file/pile in my messy office.
“Is it this one?” I asked as I read from a rumpled page:
“If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders.” -Walt Whitman
“Yes, yes! That’s it! It was a fancier way of saying find your happy place. And I did. I have. Or I am, I guess. Thanks to you and Walt!”
We concluded our call with smiles all around. Joanna promised to stay in touch, let me know when the co-op farmstand is open for business.
When she does, I’ll take Walt’s advice and do a little wandering myself…to see Joanna in her happy place.
-Vicki 😊
Hi – I’m Victoria, Vicki, Dr. Vicki. I hold a doctorate in Adult Education and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and author of Surviving Sue | Eckhartz Press.
Check out this link to learn more about my book “Surviving Sue” – all about resilience and love.
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Victoria Ponders 
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