Empowerment Words: Moving On

I love a good rewind!

I wrote a post titled, “Moving On” (see below) almost a year ago. It popped to mind this week because of a conversation with my dear friend, Wynne Leon, about the importance of listening – developing the skill and being good stewards of self-care.

Take a look and then check out Wynne’s new podcast, “How to Share” for loads of inspirational topics – including a great episode this week with communications pro, Brian Hannon.


Moving On

(Originally posted on 5/24/24)

I’ll spare you all of the details, but a dear client came to me this week with a dilemma.  

For several years he’s allowed someone he thought of as a friend to live rent free in his head, plagued by her insensitivities and indiscretions of all sorts.  Perhaps you know the feeling? Plagued by a person who needles you that way?

He’s done the dance of politeness and doesn’t want to harbor a grudge, but his edges show every time he’s around her.

He performs, she’s none the wiser, but the after effect for him? Utter exhaustion.   

Moving on…

Might be my two favorite empowerment words...

Will she notice, he wondered, if he pulls back?  He answered his own question in less than a beat.  Nope. “She’s too wrapped up in her own world.”

He has tools, options. “She” isn’t part of his work life and she’s not family. No ties to bind or complicate. He’s empowered. When I reminded him of this – that she’s in a category I refer to as “discretionary” – he smiled. 

“Right, right,” he said. “How we spend our time is the most important decision we make every day. I’m moving on.”

The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

What I enjoy most about helping others? Often, I’m just a talking post or a mirror to insights already nestled within, waiting to be seen and heard.

Here’s to you with hopes that you, too, will use your precious time well.

Vicki 😊


Hi – I’m Victoria, Vicki, Dr. Vicki. I hold a doctorate in Adult Education and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and author of Surviving Sue | Eckhartz Press.

Check out this link to learn more about my book “Surviving Sue” – all about resilience and love.

Click here for Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcasts. Listen and subscribe. Thank you! Click here for videos of our podcasts.



59 responses to “Empowerment Words: Moving On”

  1. I don’t remember this from the first time around. Not to say I didn’t read it. My memory is what it used to be. I’m sort of glad I didn’t remember it because I read with closer attention, particularly the part about others being “discretionary.” I like that. Very descriptive and empowering. A way of thinking about those we let into our lives and how far in they are allowed. Thank you!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for the smile this morning, Michael. Sometimes I don’t remember my own posts…and I wrote them! And yes, yes! That’s a powerful word…discretionary…one that’s useful to a few I know right now. Big hugs! 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

  2. “Listening” + “Hearing” + “Attention”
    My greatest needs and the best gifts in return. Thanks Vicki ♥️ xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Love you back, Margaret! Thank you.
      ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Right on, Joy! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It is such an important decision isn’t it, who and what we give our attention to. Such wisdom here Vicki. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Love you, my friend. Love our common perspectives. Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always enjoy our perspective and chats. 🥰💕

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m glad that you reposted this, as it’s such a valuable reminder. Where we spend our attention and time. I feel this wisdom can slip away from me at times. So I’m grateful that you wrote about it today! 🌞

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Dave! I’m with you…feeling the need to remind myself, too! Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Amen to this Vicki🩷
    So so true!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love and hugs to you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  6. it may be a very hard decision to make, but once made, it is very freeing and you know you’ve made the right choice. you are such a good listener, that’s why people come to you, time and again, to share their personal stories and the choices they’ve made.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so sweet, Beth. I hope all of that’s true. Xo! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m so glad that I used my time to read this post this morning. Such an insightful and incredible reminder to spend our valuable time wisely to connect with people who lift us up and push us forward. Like you, dear Vicki! Thanks for the shout out, my friend! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You betcha! Love ya, Wynne! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  8. drgeraldstein Avatar
    drgeraldstein

    Well said and never more timely, in a world where we cannot move on from the events that we’d rather not know about, much as we might try.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Beautifully put, dear Dr. Stein. Always good to be in your company. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Thanks for giving me plenty of food for thought, Vicki. I have someone who continues to live in my head, and she passed away 3 years ago!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Another reason why I adore you. Love your honesty, Jane. Sending love. Loads of love. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  10. What a wonderful post that connected with me especially now. I will have lots of precious time ahead to use wisely. Currently, I pulled out a manuscript I wrote 20 years ago and am completely starting over. I have a hard copy, but am not using it at all. I’m also rereading “Writing Down the Bones.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Elizabeth! I hear the peace and resolve in your comment! You go, girl! So excited for you…and I continue to absorb “Bones” – thanks to you!
      🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve come to grips with my current situation and will make the most out of this quiet time!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I’ll be thinking about you! When is your procedure? 💕

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Thanks you! Tomorrow morning at 6:30 a.m. PST. 😊

            Liked by 1 person

            1. You’ll be in my heart! Synchronizing to send love. Xo! 🥰

              Liked by 1 person

  11. I think of my brain as real estate. No squatters allowed! Letting someone live rent-free in your head is a waste of precious brain cells that could better be used elsewhere.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Love! No squatters! You put such a fab spin on stuff, Mark. So good! 🥰😜🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m going to start to tell myself Mark’s quote from now on: “No squatters allowed.” Of course, your post reminds me of a quote by Plato: “The attention of the wise is always directed towards the positive and the good.” 😎😎😎

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ohhh! Good one! Thanks, Brian! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  13. petespringerauthor Avatar
    petespringerauthor

    Will she notice? Too often we much about what others may think of us when they are often too self-centered to notice. Moving on is often a great strategy to recover our balance.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Pete! I’m glad you connect with that. So true, I think! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Thank you for the nuggets of wisdom Vicki, including the opening quote. ✨

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so very welcome, Michele! Sending hugs! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  15. What and who we allow to occupy rent space in our heads is so important to our well-being and happiness, Vicki. And listening is one of the best gifts we can give. This post is so valuable and a good reminder. Have a wonderful weekend! Sending hugs! 💞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Lauren! Happy weekend…and big hugs back to you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  16. “He performs, she’s none the wiser, but the after effect for him? Utter exhaustion.” This is so relatable, Vicki. There are just people in the world who don’t get it and don’t get the effect they have on others, but we can’t always move on because of family connections. So we strategize. 😊 I felt this post, Vicki, thank you. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how you and I connect — yes, yes! We can’t always move on…exactly. But when we can…lessons learned, right? Sending much love to you, dear Melanie! 💕🥰💕

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Are we sisters from a different mister? ( Haha, I just learned this one.) There just is something about us, but I sure am thrilled I have you in my corner; and vice versa!) Yes, absolutely lessons learned. And I’ve learned so many here!!!!! 🥰🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel it…I absolutely feel it. So much more than our Ohio roots. Love ya…mean it!!! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  18. So sweet, you’re bringing the tears. 😭 I love you too, Vicki, you’re the absolute best!! ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hugs in person one day!!! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  19. YASSS! 100%. 🥰❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Be a good listener, be kind, and have the power to move on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Xo, dear Jennie! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  21. You gave your colleague great advice, Vicki. Our time is so precious so we must protect and guard it against things that are toxic to our health. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true! Self protect mode. Yes! Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

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