I received the loveliest bit of feedback recently about my demeanor as a writer.
The educator in me knows that very often we’re driven for concluding remarks when we seek input from others. Hoping for high fives and praise… hoping for thoughtful queries conveying interest and approval. But I learned something new last week that gave me pause:
Input about one’s openness and disposition to RECEIVE feedback can be impactful, too.
Openness to receive…observations about paragraphs, story arcs…and yes. Sometimes single sentences and solitary words…with a jeweler’s eye for spotting potential. Gently highlighting flaws in order to polish lackluster stones into gleaming gems.
Twice in the past week, authors I admire provided such feedback – eerily similar input about my writing ‘mettle’. I’m a believer in the notion that the Universe speaks (when I slow down to listen) and the fact that I received twinning input made me smile. Motivational morsels, yes indeed!
“I’ve never seen a writer respond to feedback as you do. Eager to receive and even when the notes might come off as corrective, you nod ask follow-up questions. Seeking clarity but without defense. Trying to understand. I bet you were a dream student for your teachers.”
“I love sharing my thoughts with you because you see the separation from your work and yourself. Something many writers never figure out. Words on the page might be extensions of ourselves, but they don’t define us.”
Maybe I’m more open because I was a lifelong learner well into my 50’s, completing degrees and obtaining additional credentials? I like learning and being in learning environments. I dunno…but even the most constructive criticism can be challenging depending on the source, delivery and tone.
B.A. Durham from the Chicago Writers Association offers wonderful wisdom about embracing feedback in his latest article, focusing on the importance of shifting our perspective in order to receive. Our reactions to critiques might be visceral and less about the work in question and more about negative experiences in the past. It sounds trite but being open to receive matters. Readiness. I appreciate Durham’s additional encouragement:
“If there’s an issue…it’s just a matter of fixing it. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Treat it like a missing loose screw on a bookshelf – fix the problem, and you might just create something great.”
“Tapping into real experiences and emotions can make your writing powerful, but it can leave you feeling vulnerable…don’t play it safe, but be prepared for potentially painful rejection.”
“Remember that you are in charge. After getting feedback, read it and go take a walk. I feel that the physical distance from my computer gives me emotional distance as well. I do this even when I get good feedback because not all positive feedback is correct, even when it feels good.”
As much as I loved reeling in the kind words last week, I don’t linger there. I’m happy to be perceived as someone who’s open about her work but the work still calls. A keyboard waiting for my fingers, loose screws to tighten, my imagination ready to fire…pushing myself without worrying about playing it safe.
-Vicki 💝
Just for fun! Here’s one of my favorite posts – giving new meaning to the notion of “ghost writing”. 😊
Hi – I’m Victoria, Vicki, Dr. Vicki. I hold a doctorate in Adult Education and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and author of Surviving Sue | Eckhartz Press.
Check out this link to learn more about my book “Surviving Sue” – all about resilience and love.
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Victoria Ponders 
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