Returning the Favors

“Show me a successful individual and I’ll show you someone who had real positive influences in his or her life. I don’t care what you do for a living — if you do it well I’m sure there was someone cheering you on or showing the way. A mentor.”

– Denzel Washington

I was a terrified first year student. Fighting the daily urge to quit, I stayed put and didn’t drop out, but I thought about it constantly and every year when September rolls around, I remember. It’s a month of change and trepidation for students – of all ages – and families, too.

I remember the verbal jabs and constant criticism from my mom, Sue. Questioning my capacity, chipping away at what little confidence I had. But I found my crew on campus – a team of hearty counseling professionals who took me under their collective wings and hired me as one of their student assistants. Over time, my responsibilities grew and as I earned my degrees, I returned as a colleague and a peer.

Many of us gather each spring to celebrate our 40+ years of friendship and I can’t think of a time when I didn’t cry in their presence. Tiny tears, arriving with a wave of giggles, gratitude and awe. For my good fortune, for the generosity of mentors extraordinaire.

Marvelous colleagues…grateful me in the back row.

Full circle moments make me smile.

Last week one of my former students, Joshua, found me on LinkedIn after doing a deep dive as an online sleuth, catching up, as he put it, “On all things Vicki”. He’s traveled the world teaching English and making a difference but soon he’ll be back in the U.S., headed to law school.

One of the first things Joshua said in our conversation was, “Why so humble?”, which really threw me. “Humble about what?”, I asked.

“You were recognized as a distinguished alumni and there’s an awesome video about you…but it’s nowhere on your socials or website. I found it by accident when I was tracking you down.”

I smiled. I remembered. Before I left my higher ed career a few years ago, I received recognition as a distinguished alum. Surprised by my dear colleague, Karen, who endorsed me for an award that’s still humbling. Joshua wasn’t wrong…humbling. Yes! I haven’t posted the video anywhere online, but I’ll be brave…and share it with you here.

The timing of all of this is marvelous. Serendipitous. Here’s why

The day before Joshua reached out, I signed on to participate as a mentor along with other distinguished alums. We’ll receive our student matches soon and I can’t wait to meet mine.

Mentoring moments matter and I’m ever grateful for those who showed me how to be my best self…and I’m excited to keep the goodness going.

-Vicki 💝

Lagniappe? A little more? Watch for news – coming soon – about an upcoming event…a reading from “Surviving Sue“, back on campus!


Hi – I’m Victoria, Vicki, Dr. Vicki. I hold a doctorate in Adult Education and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and author of Surviving Sue | Eckhartz Press.

Check out this link to learn more about my book “Surviving Sue”.

Click here for Sharing the Heart of the Matter podcasts with talented creatives.

Click here for videos of our podcasts. Thank you!



104 responses to “Returning the Favors”

  1. You will be such an incredible mentor, Vicki!! Big kudos to you! I have some great mentors over the years, so Denzel Washington’s quote really rings true. 💕

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Oh, I’m so thankful for you, Vicki, that you’ve made such a difference in the lives of students, and even with us little older fans. Thank God you’re in our world!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Joy…sending the kindness back to you!!!Much love! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Heartwarming post, Vicki, about your journey from having a difficult parent and a nerve-wracking start of college to what you are now. Congratulations on the award of a few years ago and the video about it and you!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Many thanks, Dave! Sending my best wishes to you this morning! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Well done, well remembered, well deserved. Life is hard, and hardly worth the effort, without our mentors.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow! A super poetic and fab comment, Michael! Thank you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Mentoring is one of the most rewarding roles we take on. Sometimes we’re mentoring without even realizing it. I think you’ve already got an extensive mentor CV, both formal and otherwise, Vicki. Keep up the good work!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are so right…natural mentoring. I love that. Appreciate you, Jane! I know you’ve been a terrific mentor in many contexts. Big hugs! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  6. What a wonderful surprise you had and it prompted you to be brave. One of the wonders I always have is what happens to the students who wander into my classroom then move up and on to high school and beyond? Sometimes I hear from them, but that’s rare. At the beginning of the year I have eager students who have brothers or sisters who’ve had me before and they seem excited to have me because their sibling had me. We make a difference, we really do. Congrats on your honor, it’s well deserved. Peace and keep making those days count.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, Clay! Hearing from former students is such a delight…and I have no doubt those you’ve taught and supported flourish as a result. Thank you for your lovely comment! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  7. You obviously made an impact on your student to go sleuthing to find you! How wonderful he brought up the video and honor you received so we could share in your success.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Elizabeth. It’s still a little embarrassing, but I loved that Joshua hung in there to find me! Big hugs! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  8. What a splendid endorsement from Karen, Vicki 🫶🏼 I was thinking how hard it can be to mentor others well if we have not had our emotional needs met by those who we needed to meet them. You defy all odds, you really do. Your achievements and skills on top of your empathy and compassion amount to you being invaluable in so many ways. 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are always so kind, Margaret. I think there are many of us – pushing forward, sticking together. Through mentorship, friendship. Thank you for being YOU.
      🥰💕🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh my goodness Vicki, take your bow my friend. Your humility is your superpower! 🐱‍🏍 Congratulations on receiving such an incredible honor. Your achievements are by far inspirational. Thanks so much for humbly sharing this awesome video my friend. 👏🏼 It is truly a deserving recognition and may you continue inspiring others as you do! Much love, hugs, and smooches! 🤗💖😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kym…hugs and smooches back at you! I’m always comfier shining the light on others so this was a big step. Appreciate you for all the love and inspiration you provide. xoxoxo! 🥰💕🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  10. How wonderful is this! Mentoring and being a mentor are such meaningful pursuits 🙂

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    1. being a mentee is what I meant to say!

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      1. I got you – it works both ways! xo! 🥰💕🥰

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Rhonda…so well said. Yes, yes, yes! Big hugs! 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

  11. Oh I love your humble and gracious heart. I love the video that speaks volumes of your gifts, Vicki! You are a superhero. Thank goodness someone came out and put you in the limelight so much deserved! Congratulations to you on a gifted tribute to you! Oh and the photo you and your baby! You are a beacon of light for Harper College and the world!
    ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cindy…thank you! I love these full circle moments – giving and receiving. You just honored me with a big, delicious gift in your lovely comment. xo! 🥰

      Like

  12. Hi Vicki 🥰
    What a lovely post.
    Anyone who has you as their mentor will be truly blessed.
    Not only because of your acadmic skills, but also for your kindness and compassion ❤️
    Best to you always.
    Tots to the jellies my friend xo💫😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Much love and of course….jellie tots…back to you, sweet Maggie! 💕🥰💕

      Liked by 1 person

  13. You never cease to amaze me, Vicki! The more I learn about you, the more humble I feel, and the more grateful that you came into my life. I’m so glad you shared that wonderful video. You will be a fabulous mentor to whoever is lucky enough to get you. Hugs&love, D.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my goodness. Blushing over here. I love knowing that you see depth and all the facets, dear Deborah. I’m happy we’ve connected, too! You add richness and wonder in all that you do and I’m honored to call you friend. xo! 💝🥰💝

      Like

  14. From mentee to mentor your journey and story continues lighting the path for others to find their way! 💖💖💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Always appreciate you, Mary! Thanks for your kindness and encouragement! 🥰💝🥰

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  15. Wow, Vicki, your Harper College video gave me chills! The positivity you’ve brought to so many lives at the time, including those here in blogland is well deserving of the honor you’ve received. I’m grateful to know you, and I know you will make a terrific mentor to whoever is so fortunate. Thank you for humbly sharing this great honor. You are amazing in all you do! Hugs 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wowza. Thanks, Lauren. There are so many things we can do – each of us – to contribute to greater good. I appreciate you for all that you do, dear one! Much love! 🥰💝🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re so welcome, Vicki, and you’re right…we all can do our part to spread the good. Your loving heart and accomplishments have me in awe. Much love to you too, my friend. 💝

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You’re sweet! Thank you so much, Lauren! Xo! 🥰

          Liked by 1 person

  16. Lovely tribute. And from my own experience, you are a wonderful, signified, and thoughtful friend. Thank you, Vicki.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Appreciate you, Dr. Stein.
      Many thanks! 🥰

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  17. I’m so glad that you shared that video and award, dear Vicki! All so true and well-deserved. The difference you make can’t be measured — but I sure appreciate it!! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Wynne! Grateful to you for all that you do for me! Xo, dear one! 🥰

      Like

  18. It’s nice to see this great information about you, Vicki, and learn how wonderful you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are too kind, Tim! So many lovely people all around – just like you! Appreciate you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Wow! That video Vicki, shows your incredible tenacity and gumption. Those and so many other qualities visible in your memoir, which by the way, I do believe, WILL be a movie someday. You are very humble. Joshua is right. Wishing you a wonderful mentor/mentee relationship in your new adventure. Though you’ve been a mentor your whole life it appears. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You, you, you…dear Alegria! I don’t know how I got so lucky…connecting with you but I’m grateful for all of your support. You get me…and understand the purpose-driven pulse we share. Sending oodles of love to you! 💝💝💝

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Love and hugs right back my dear friend. 💕

        Liked by 1 person

  20. What a touching and personal homage to your impact, Vicki.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are very kind, Mitch. Thank you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  21. You make a difference!!!! Your work is so important. It’s teaching ,counseling, or writing you’re helping others!!!❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sending that love and positivity back to you! Grateful for all that you do, my Vickie sister! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  22. What a fantastic video! An honor for sure, even if it’s a humble one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re the best, Mark! Thanks for the smile. 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Vicki, indeed oh so humble. The video was a beautiful revelation and I’m so glad you shared it with us at your former student’s encouragement. Making a positive impact on countless lives is so worth celebration and do accept these flowers from your colleagues and former students! 💕💐

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate you, Ab! Thank you for your warmth – always – and for your encouragement! Love your bright light! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Humble, indeed! If I had one of these, I’d be showing on a 24-hour loop to anyone who wanted to watch 😂

    All jokes aside, congrats, Vicki! This is a huge accomplishment.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL! Thank you for the giggle, dear Kath! Don’t say it enough…adore you! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  25. You have earned your degree in humbleness, Dr. Atkinson. That was a powerful testimony. It doesn’t get much better than being recognized by your colleagues and students.

    The group photo made me smile too. I still get together with the other members of our retired staff once a month. I treasure those friendships with the people I have the utmost respect for.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Pete! One of the most endearing things about you – from the first time we connected – was the priority you place on staying in touch with people who matter. So good! Enduring friendships. Yes! Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Congratulations, Vicki. How amazing to see this. I so admire people who are so humble like you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hazel…thank you so much. Sending the love and admiration back to you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure, Vicki. Stay amazing, and thank you, too.

        Liked by 1 person

  27. I’m so glad that Josua gave you that nudge! We may never have seen this video which details the multitude of hats you chose to wear out of love for helping others and advancing education and well, just being a wonderful human. My favorite photo had to be the one with your baby daughter. Love that. ❤️ Congrats on everything you worked hard for. 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love you, Melanie! You’re right…Joshua’s nudge pushed me to share. Thank you for all of your kindness and support. You inspire me! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Well, I’m inspired by your passion. And that’s so awesome that you will be a mentor. Congrats on that, too! Talk about making the world a better place. 🥰🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Smiling! So big! Thank you, Melanie. 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  29. So touching and what a beautiful group photo! Thank you for sharing, Dr. Vicki. 🌞

    Like

  30. Distinguished Alumni. Dammmmn girl! If I had anything even close to that, the world would know about it. I would go out into the world and I would be telling everyone who I met that:
    –I was a doctor and that they better damn-well use my title!
    –I was a distinguished alumni and I’m special!
    The mailman would know. The person behind the counter at my favorite coffee shop. My friends would know the story by heart, they would hear it from me all the time. They would have to call me “Distinguished” just to get my attention. Ha, ha.

    Oh, I’m kidding, but I’m so glad that you shared that with us Vicki. “I remember the verbal jabs and constant criticism from my mom, Sue. Questioning my capacity, chipping away at what little confidence I had.” I felt that. I can relate to that, so it’s great to see you rise up and above the jabs. Good for you Vicki. You deserve a ton of praise.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You win! Most fabulous comment EVER! Thank you for the giggles and endless support, Brian! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  31. 👏🏼 Vicki, what an incredible accomplishment! And thanks to Joshua for that gentle push so you could share that video with us. I love this post, and well done, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Edward…thank you! Joshua is pretty amazing…you’d love him! I think you share many of the same values and you are both kind souls, for sure! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re so welcome, my friend. 🙏🏼

        Liked by 1 person

  32. what a well deserved award, Vicki. I loved seeing this video and glad that your friend found it and nudged you into sharing it with us. you will make an incredible mentor and the person who gets to work with you will be so very lucky. this accolade is the tip of the iceberg I know and you just keep growing and getting better and better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wowza, Beth! Many thanks. I’m a lucky human to have so many good people around me! Thanks you for being one of them. Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  33. That is amazing Vicki. You are living proof that we can overcome obstacles and thrive. I can only imagine the positive impact you’ve had on the lives of so many. Kudos!

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  34. You have much to be proud of, Vicki. Getting the needed education and moving forward is particularly challenging when the people behind us are negative, but then they also become the fuel to prove them wrong. Congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Perfectly expressed, Mary! Thank you so very much! Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  35. This is such a heartwarming post, Vicki! You fought through a thorny journey with a dysfunctional mother and came out beautifully with so much support on your way. I love Danzel Washington’s quote. Another of my favorite of his quote is, “I pray that you all put your shoes way under the bed at night so that you gotta get on your knees in the morning to find them. And while you’re down there thank God for grace and mercy and understanding.”

    Even though I didn’t have discouraging parents, but they had no ability to encourage me. I fought my way through with lots of help and support also. When I was doing my dissertation for my Doctor of Educational Leadership, my dissertation chair was 110% supportive. One time, he and his wife went to Vegas for a quick getaway. I just mailed one chapter to him. He took it with him to Vegas. After he read it and commented on it, he drove up and down the road to find a post office to mail it back to me. Without him, I wouldn’t be able to finish my dissertation within my third year of doctoral study. I was one of the four crazy women in my class who finished three years of study plus doing the dissertation in the third year, and “walked” at the end of the end. The four of us met every month to push ourselves through. It was such a sweet crazy time.

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    1. You are so sweet, Miriam! Thank you! Sounds like your dissertation chair was a gem of a human being. I got lucky in the same way and my goodness, what a difference it makes, right? And thank you for the lovely quote…remembering to be thankful…every single morning. Yes, yes, yes! Sending big hugs your way! 🥰💕🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I’m thankful for everything every single day, Vicki! Thank you. ❤ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  36. 🎉🎉 Your former student is right- that is an awesome video!! I’m glad you shared it, I probably never would have found it otherwise. Don’t be shy about letting people see it- there’s a saying that goes something like- “It ain’t bragging if it’s true.” 😎💪💚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that! LOL! Thank you so much, Todd! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  37. VICKI!!! OMG, this is absolutely wonderful and clearly well deserved. You are the humble one, not seeking fanfare, and always reaching out to help others. I wish everyone was like you. Really.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jennie! Thank you…it’s still pretty weird. You know what I mean. We do what we do because it’s who we are. I know you’re the same! Xo! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, that’s what we do. I totally understand, and I’m the same way! 😍

        Liked by 1 person

  38. Catching up here. You deserve the accolades having come through the difficulties with your head on straight. As they used to say where I came from: “you done good.”

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    1. Love that…thanks so much, Ally. No worries about the catching up…I’m struggling with that this week and I know I missed one of your posts. Some weeks are just like that. Sending big hugs your way…we hail from the same place so “you done good” really speaks to me! xo! 🥰💕🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  39. What a fantastic video!! I think everyone can agree with the way this video describes you. You touch hearts, you make people feel like you truly care. You’re a cheerleader for everyone’s success! 💕💞🥰🥰 You’ve helped more people than we can possibly count. Everyone should have someone as wonderful as you in their corner encouraging them – personally, professionally, and academically.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rose, Rose, Rose! Thank you so much, I see all of those qualities in you – I sure do. Helping hearts recognize each other! Big hugs! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  40. YOWZAA!!!! That video – You are indeed humble – I am thrilled that you shared it – And I also love the photos – Vicki, one would think that growing up with Sue as your mom would have led you down a different path. Yet, you took that experience to change lives every day with your teaching, mentoring, writing, podcasts and devotion to family. you are amazing – Love the other V

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are such a love! Thank you, my Vickie sister! Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  41. Vicki, nice to be back here…and nice to see such a fine example of someone like yourself continuing to pay it forward and helping others reach their goals. Joshua gets an A+ from me, and so do you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Welcome back! Thank you so much, Bruce! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

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