So…I did something super stupid last week.  I’ve been maligning myself – left and right – for succumbing to the sugar monster within.  Not just for a day, but the entire expanse of “holiday time”, which consists of (here in the U.S.) the sugar rush known as Halloween…marching through Thanksgiving (hello pumpkin pie)…and into Christmas (strudel, cookies, coffee cakes) and New Year’s (fancy desserts I don’t normally eat…tiramisu, chocolate souffles…you get the idea).  Other people are enamored with turkey, dressing, heavy, meaty hors d’oeuvres but not me.  Bring me sweets, my insatiable demon shouts.

Let me think this through, then…if I do the math, that’s a bit more than a day or two of falling off the wagon. 🤣 Oy.  I’m not obsessive about sugar or truly any food, but the older I get, the more I recognize the inflammation impact of imbibing in too much sucrose, fructose – in any and all forms.  It’s my sugary, slippery slope.  Once I begin the slide, I’m doomed until I hit one of my enlightened, epiphany moments and climb back to reality.  All things in moderation.  Got it.  But remember, Vicki?  You don’t do moderation well, dufus!

So, I’m feeling better. Thanks for asking! 😉 I’m back in the saddle with a little self-control and daily Pilates and a bit of cardio – helping me to feel better, less tired, more normal.  Cheers to me!  But I’ve got some ground to cover – literally – before the waistband on my jeans is less tourniquet and more wearable…for more than three minutes. 

Still with me?  So, let’s get to the super stupid thing.  I’m not a runner, but I fancy the lightweight running shorts for workouts.  Good range of movement and I appreciate the pockets.  I have a slew of shorts – all the same – so the excuse of ‘whoopsie – no fresh duds, I’ll need to skip today to do laundry’ isn’t an easy out.  I know all of my tricks.  I think so, anyhow? 

The day in question, I hustled to get the sports bra on, the shorts, the compression socks, the base layer, the sweatshirt, fill my water bottle, find my towel…all for the 30-second commute to the basement.  I was feeling smug because I managed to get ready in record time before Sadie (#1 poochie mama) suspected a thing.  She hates it when I go to the basement and she can’t.  It’s a mess with construction going on and it’s hardly safe for humans; certainly, a no-fly zone for our sweet old lady Sadie. 

Feeling triumphant, pleased with my speediness, I got downstairs and started my routine and was instantly miserable.  Forgiveness for the oversharing, if that’s how you might perceive what’s coming, but my shorts were ridiculously riding up.  I could not get those suckers to sit where they were supposed to, if you know what I mean. Still, I trucked along, stretching, and doing my warmup, whilst frequently yanking at my shorts.

A smart woman (which clearly I’m not) would’ve slowed down to inspect the shorts, right?  Nope – not me.  I was mad because they were uncomfortable but rather than go with an obvious answer…like maybe my shorts were on backwards…I rolled into self-loathing.  “The damn shorts, too?  Another example of too many cookies?!”  I figured my discomfort was my fault, all cookie and sweets related, accounting for the extra snuggy-ness of the shorts.  Did I stop to investigate?  Nope. 

I finished my workout.  Mad, glad and everything in between.  Sweaty, but I finished.  As I grabbed my phone to slide it into my pocket before I headed upstairs, I couldn’t find the opening in the side of my shorts.  What the heck? So I struggled a bit, and when I finally got the pocket to reveal itself, I tried to slip my phone in and it went in…but towards my tush. I’m sure you figured this out before I got to this long-winded reveal.  Stupid silly Vicki put her shorts on backward.  Hurrying, yes, and rather than attributing the ill-fit to something plausible and easily fixable…like flipping my shorts around to the front…I instinctively attributed the odd fit and discomfort to cookies and all of their associates. 

But wait – there’s more!  By the time I figured this out, I could hardly control myself as a giggle fit took over.  The good news is that no one was home but me and the pooch because I’m not sure how I would’ve explained the self-imposed hilarity to any humans in the house.  My shorts made me laugh?  Oh my.

Thanks for reading…and unpacking this with me.  In the end, I recognize that I need to be better to my body, in a few different ways.  What I consume?  Sure thing.  How to dress myself?  Yes, yes – that, too!

Vicki ❤

Join us for more fun…inspiration and stories from the heart…at The Heart of the Matter! 🤍

Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

34 thoughts on “When You Crack Yourself Up: The Silly Shorts Edition

  1. That’s hilarious, Vicki!! I think there are days that I not only get my pants on backwards but also Miss O’s and Mr D’s too if they need assistance. The backward pocket thing is hilarious!

    And I’ve succumbed to the sugar monster too – exactly for the same period of Halloween through the New Year. You’ve motivated an epiphany moment for me too. Thank you for the giggles and motivation, my friend!! XOXO

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, fellow sugar monster. Made any good cookies this week? 😉😉😉 I think I can smell them wafting over to our house! I know, I know. We are who we are…and I’m coming to grips with the fact that I can’t entirely slay the “cookie monster” within, but I can try to tame him. Her? Hmmmm…
      Wish me luck. xo!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Too bad there isn’t a love button on WordPress because I’d punch a hole in it with this blog. First of all, I love that I’m not the only one who does embarrassingly stupid things. I love your wit and your ability to laugh at yourself. I love your vulnerability and willingness to let your wee foibles hang out there in public for the world to see. I love that you remind me that no matter what, we are all just precious, adorable, lovable creatures plodding our way through life doing the best we can with what we have—even though sometimes we don’t necessarily see ourselves that way. Thanks for being a fabulous mirror! 💕

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Oh, Julia! Thank you! A love button, eh? If there was such a thing I’d use it to celebrate your delightful comment! How do you thank a friend when their comment’s better than the post?! I adore you for laughing both WITH and AT me! ❤️😘❤️

      Like

    2. You, and you, and me makes three 🙂 When I was a young girl, my father got me a poster to celebrate my sticking-my-foot-in-my-mouth moments 🙂 I loved it and hung it prominently 🙂

      As for the sugar problem, we found a recipe for bromines that’s absolutely scrumptious (and we’ve even improved on it over the dozen or so times we made it 🙂 ) and is processed-sugar free! It uses DATES to sweeten and they add marvelous (imo) gooeyness. So we eat them (semi-)guilt free 😀

      Liked by 4 people

    3. I’m with you, Julia! This had me rolling! And the laughing when you’re all alone part was relatable too – usually makes the moment even more hilarious, because then you think about how ridiculous you’d appear to anyone who happened by. Loved the post, Vicki! 😊❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. No way the comment is better than the post! I am laughing with you, but never AT you—but I admire your ability to laugh at yourself! It’s what makes you so lovable! 😊 It’s what separates those who take themselves too seriously from those who look at the light side of life. Vivé la light side!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll have what you’re having! The lighter side for the win! Sending BIG, BIG hugs to you dear Julia…you’ve made my day…week? Month? All of it! Love buttons, indeed! ❤️

      Like

  4. You gotta laugh! Love this post for how it touches on real life! Everyone who’s done the same thing and actually gone to the gym, raise your hand? Yea, that’s me! One polite woman actually pointed out that I might have my backward facing sweatpants on wrong. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ Tis, life sometimes. But the thing to remember: backwards or not, you got your work out in! Take that Sugar Monster! Gotta celebrate the wins🏃‍♀️🏆🏆🏆

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I love how you zeroed in on what I overlooked! Heck ya! I got the workout in! 😜Thanks for that reminder — and for sharing you’ve been in the “I dunno how to dress myself club”! You’re the best, Brian! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You have my laughing uncontrollably! This is hilarious and, everyone else has said, I love that you can laugh at yourself and the situation. I’ve done so many silly things… you reach a point where you realize backwards shorts and a few too many cookies never hurt anyone. I’m another sugar… dark chocolate it my weakness, and moderation is not part of my vocabulary.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. 😂Great story and super relatable. My impatience has gotten me to plow ahead when I shouldn’t have too sometimes. And the sugar thing? I’m right there with you, from the multi month excessive- ness to realizing that stuff just feels worse as I get older.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hahaha!!! You had me hooked with the never-ending holiday season and then the roll call of decadent sweets (I was absorbed in deciding which one I liked best), so I wasn’t ready for the shorts story. I was ready for them not fitting the way they been – that wouldn’t have been a big surprise after all those desserts – but not for them being on backwards! Now all your readers will watch for that! Thanks for the laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve been falling victim to sugar too, mainly because it’s Chinese New Year, and there are loads of cookies during this season. I’ve also been prone to wearing my specs over my head and searching the entire house for it. At least you still get to utilise your item of clothing as intended, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love that — yes! The shorts were in the right vicinity…as were your glasses – LOL! But I see (wink!) your point. Your glasses weren’t too useful on the top of your head! 🤪
      And…thx for sharing your sugar monster woes…it’s good to have comrades in the battle. 😉😜😉

      Like

    1. Oh, Art! Thank you for laughing along with/at me — it’s all good – and thanks for the vote of confidence…there are days when I think I leave my head elsewhere but keep on traveling through my day! Hope all is well with you — sending big Wed morning smiles your way! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was wondering what happened to you and your posts–then double-checked my subscriptions. Clicked “on” again (didn’t realize it had ever been switched off!)

        I would never laugh at you, Victoria–always with. I am very confident in your abilities; and I enjoy reading the insights that you share with all of us.
        Yes, all is well with me, thanks! I’m excited to be editing another book that “is” finding it’s way to publication. I don’t have to know “how,” just know that it’s occurring.

        Thanks for the big smile–a warm hug and smile right back to you! 🤗

        Liked by 1 person

        1. That’s terrific! Editing another book — congrats, Art! As you said, the ‘how’ doesn’t matter…happy for you! And no worries about the weird WP following business — that happens to me every now and again and I wonder how I stop following people…when I never unfollowed. Bizarre! In any event — nice to hear from you this morning…with big hugs and smiles back to you! 😉😉😉

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Thanks about the editing, Victoria. The initial draft of the book came through me about a year and a half ago; and I found myself again drawn to the work about a week ago. About the “following” issue, I can only share that perahps I pressed a button I didn’t intend to as I tweaked my website.

            So glad to hear from you again, too!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I think there are wonky WP gremlins at work…but no matter, happy to hear from you as well! Press on with the editing — good for you! It’s a good sign if the content is calling you back, drawing you in! Cheers to that! 😉😉😉

              Like

              1. Thanks for the encouragement, Victoria. I also use one of the older themes; but I don’t really want to invest the time in switching to a new one right now.

                I agree (you know it); it’s a good sign if content calls back to us. I’m so glad that I was called back to see what you’ve been writing!

                Liked by 1 person

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