Stormy Weather


I had a long chat recently with a former colleague and it was a delightful opportunity to catch up. She was the sort of confidante who could lift up the entire universe with her good humor and work ethic. The kind of colleague that you clamor to be near… shiny, smart and driven…and unafraid to call out crapola when she saw it.

What happened to these plainspoken workplace warriors like my friend?  Before folks began to worry so much about image and “managing the message”.  I always thought you needed to possess a message – have a point of view – before you worried about naysayers.  Oh…right, right.  I was privileged.  Privileged to learn from people with purpose, fostering an agenda that focused on greater good, not lining their pockets or padding their resumes.

In the catching up chat, I learned about a series of Lemony Snicket-Worthy Unfortunate Events 😊 that have befallen a former nemesis.  I’m not sure if I should openly confess my periodic feelings of ill will toward this person.  (Roll around with pigs and then complain that you stink?  Isn’t that someone’s bright and brilliant observation?)

Instead, I moved past The Stupid (my global category, at times, for people I deem unworthy of consideration – period).  Stupid describes how I feel if I mull them over for too long.  Stupid describes the person as well. What a terrific twofer!

My dad was a dedicated leader.  He’d remark, like my dear friend, that some people, as they ascend, and gain power DO know their truth – despite the carefully crafted façade. They’re secret keepers, well aware that they’re posers (imposter syndrome before it was an apt label). 

Rather than DO the work and lead the people, they fixate on the impact of every decision on themselves, rarely considering the downstream implications and often lacking any semblance of an intrinsic ethics code. What takes guts and gumption? Admitting you’re unsure, wielding the strength of character to confess your mistakes…things that lackluster leaders dare not consider because popping the top on the big box of insecurities is unthinkable. Fearsome.

My dad joked that some buttheads that he’d encountered were worthy of Hurricane classification and it still makes sense to me.  Wild and unpredictable, destructive and unstoppable.  Right now, I hope that some who’ve been in the path of a particular storm…one whipped up by an unworthy leader…will find a calm space.  A moment of breath-catching before another wave rolls in. 

Vicki 😎

Photo by Kat Smith on Pexels.com



32 responses to “Stormy Weather”

  1. Oh so I’m not the only one who periodically feels ill will toward the stupids of my world. Yeah, and then feel stupid about it myself. There are so many like that, and I wish for that calm space for those who encounter that type. But to be honest, I wish I could be compassionate enough to wish the storms would figure out for themselves that they don’t have to blow through a trailer park at every opportunity and take some time to calm themselves down.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh, gosh no — you’re not the only one! And you’re right — blowing through with such intensity…a little calm would do everyone a world of good! 😘

      Liked by 2 people

  2. drgeraldstein Avatar
    drgeraldstein

    Some of those who create catastrophes remain untouched by them, don’t you think, Vicki? What a strange gift.

    People tough to be near, as you suggest.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What a point you make, Dr. Stein! Yes — those who stand by, watching the train wrecks in motion (often of their making) and are oblivious. A perfectly on-point description…and yes…so very difficult to be in their swirl, in proximity. Thanks for that! 😘

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Vicki, if it makes you feel a bit better, I still have periodic feelings of ill will toward the coworker who tried to sabotage my career. Every year or so, I search and, I’m slightly ashamed to admit not only that I do that, but also that I smiled when I read he’d recently been sued and lost his home to foreclosure. Unworthy leaders like him, and the person you’re thinking of, certainly deserve the “hurricane” classification. Hopefully, all those in the path can make it through the storm.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks for that, Erin! When I learned about this leader’s recent demise I was happy…rejoicing…thinking FINALLY. Not my best look…but so much destruction surrounding one person. I couldn’t help myself. Sigh! Big hugs! 🥰

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I can 100% relate! So many people get away with behavior, that there’s a twinge of delight when

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oops, accidentally clicked send too soon! There’s a bit of delight when someone faces the consequences of their actions.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I know, right?!? 😎🤪😎

          Liked by 1 person

  4. My husband held ill will and anger toward someone who had burned him in a business deal. One day we were at church with a sermon about forgiveness and it hit my husband. He forgave this former friend and moved on. He realized how much negative energy had entered his life that was destructive to him. I learned from that moment, too. Don’t waste too much thought on those who wrong us, but move on and enjoy the life we have.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Amen to all of that, Elizabeth. It’s funny how the forgiveness mountain can be a tough one to climb…everyone needs to find their own way but when you get there? So good to let the irksome stuff go – even if it was rage-worthy. What great advice! 🥰

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Your post reminded me of that. Forgiveness is just as much for us as for the person we are forgiving!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Cheers to that…and the timeline for forgiveness is so individual…I don’t know who the smart one was who first said something along the lines of ‘when we come to forgiveness’…reminding me that we need to arrive and be ready. It can’t be something on our ‘to do’ list. 🥰

          Liked by 3 people

          1. You gave me a good laugh. I work from a daily to do list. “Forgive so and so…” If only!😂

            Liked by 1 person

            1. You are hilarious…and you’re right…if only…if only! 😘🤣😋

              Liked by 1 person

  5. Hurricanes – I like your dad’s term for those people who stir things up. I suppose that leaves everyone else to figure out whether they are people who rescue those who stay, are guides who help others find the way out, or are present to be with anyone caught in the path – or all three. What an interesting post, dear Vicki! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love that…reminds me of my first responder crisis training…everyone has a role to play…oh…my mind is spinning in a few directions thinking of all the implications of your comment. And some (often those who may have started the mayhem) might be on the sidelines enjoying a snack…a little popcorn as they take in the ‘show’. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh this is a tough one for me. I’m pretty good about dealing with someone who has wronged me, eventually I stop stalking them on social media, I somehow manage to block them from my thoughts, and maybe even eventually forgive but not forget. But if you wrong one of my children, grand children, or husband may God have mercy on me… Hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah… forgive but not forget. ❤️Feeling that, Cheryl! And oh my, yes. I think we can shoulder a lot that’s directed toward us, but you’re right…don’t mess with the loved ones! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  7. It is so tough for people who have to work under/with poor leaders, people who just don’t get what leadership is meant to be about. People who think it’s about them. Sadly, they are often like that because they had similarly poor leaders that they learned from. It’s contagious! So sad, it doesn’t need to be like that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jane. You’re right…I hadn’t thought about it as a contagion. Yes! Being “exposed” to questionable leadership might drive some away from the high road. Terrific point. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh Vicki, this post made me smile because I have had the good, and bad, luck of reporting to many leaders in my career. The ones I learned the most from were the ones I could be totally open with—on good and bad days. There’s too much “managing the message” and making yourself look good going on in the corporate world these days. It’s tiring!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello there, Michelle! I’m so glad this hit a note of recognition for you, too. I love what you said about how important it is to have someone you can trust — to be open with. Oh, my yes — and from the things we’ve already shared as blogging friends, we know we want that for our daughters. I’m glad to know you had some good fortune and the ability to know a few good leaders. It makes such a difference. Big hugs! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Since I”m self employed, I am not touched by this dynamic very often, although a few years ago, I did get a good taste of working under someone who was a jerk. It took me months (maybe a couple of years?) to finally forgive and shake it off. We were working on a project an hour from home, and I kid you not, for a year, I would feel a low grade rage well up, when I’d drive by the highway turn off to the job. I knew what was going on in my heart, and I knew I didn’t want to stay there, but as you mentioned to someone else ” It’s funny how the forgiveness mountain can be a tough one to climb…everyone needs to find their own way” Makes me thankful for the positive, can-do group of people I am currently surrounded by. To me the best leader is a servant leader. Humble, willing to admit if they’re not sure, admit when they’ve made a mistake, love people, yet know how to lead.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love that you mentioned servant leadership, Doug. It’s often the term I use to describe leaders who – IMHO – have their priorities in order. I’m sorry you had to endure a tough situation for a whole year…and I can imagine how your body was reacting as you got closer to the job site. Wowza. Glad to know you’re around a can-do, groovy group now. 😘

      Liked by 2 people

  10. “Managing the message” is poppycock. I hope I didn’t upset you with such strong language. I have less patience for that kind of stupidity than I once did, but it’s out there. I had some horrible bosses and a few delightful ones, so I feel fortunate in the overall. Still, looking back, some of the crap I put up with… sigh

    Liked by 2 people

    1. LOL…go, Ally! Poppycock, indeed! Why is it that enduring the crap is a common experience for so many? I wish it weren’t so. I’m glad you had some good folks in the mix…makes the crappy leaders look so much worse by comparison. 😎

      Liked by 2 people

  11. It’s hard to put “stupid people” out of our mind. I think it shows that we’re human. I’ve had a few. I would throw a few companies into that lot too. I’m not bitter. Ha, ha. But yes, in time hopefully we do forgive and move on. I still like your description. And here’s to more peaceful moments! The Stupid help us appreciate those moments even more!!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Cheers to all of that, Brian! 😎

      Liked by 2 people

  12. Like stormy weather, don’t allow these hurricane force individuals to rain long on your parade of life!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh…I love that Mary! Way to go — yep. Agree, agree! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

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