I know writer Hunter S. Thompson was an intriguing and controversial figure. I’ve found those two words – the adjectives ‘intriguing and ‘controversial’ – to be frequent descriptors when I think about him. I love reading about people who spent their lives stirring things up. 😉 It doesn’t mean I condone the behaviors or actions, but I’m curious, always, about motivation and the fine lines between brilliance and madness, especially when it comes to self-care.
This week I’m thinking about two people who are struggling – feeling overwhelmed and overloaded. I think they might benefit from a reminder that it CAN BE okay to say no without needing to explain, justify or apologize. Maybe a little injection of Thompson’s perspective will help?
I’ve loved one of his quotes for a long time and periodically, when I need an injection of courage – often a reminder that it’s not my mission in life to please everyone – I return to it. Like a reset button. I’m not enough of a devotee of Thompson’s writing to know the context or the intended target/inspiration of his words but I like them just the same, stark and blunt as they are:
“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and – in spite of True romance magazines – we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely – at least, not all the time – but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”
Hunter S. Thompson
Did he die at his own hand, struggling with demons both known and unknown to those who loved him? Seems so. Those are some of the controversial parts, not to mention his politics. But swiping all of that away and considering the words with less of an interest in context, his quote morphs to this: Take care of yourself first. Not last. Look in…not out.
For this people-pleasing girl, the icy quality of the phrase “We were alone the whole way” reminds me to make sure I’m a good companion to myself on the ride of life. There’s a peacefulness nestled in Thompson’s words, and they set my mind to wandering. I don’t know who to thank for the pithy paraphrase and distillation of his message to the slang-y “You do you” (occasionally fluffed up with a one-word term of endearment, “You do you, boo”), but I like it all. Three words or four words — or Thompson’s version? Good stuff.
For those of us who seem to perpetually scan the field, assessing the impact of our decisions on others, more so than self, Thompson’s message provides the liberty to be selfish, if you want to call it that. Me? I want to be my own good company, a trusted companion. Not to the exclusion of those I love and care about, but lest I forget, in the end, my happiness, my life, is mine. And for the two sweet souls, in particular, who might be reading this? I’m sending some “Vicki hugs”, too.
Vicki 😊
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Victoria Ponders 
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