Yesterday our dear daughter (Delaney) called as she was driving to work at 6am. I was up, working on my first cup of coffee and as I sipped – just minutes before her call – I thought:
“I haven’t talked to Delaney for a couple of days…I know she’s busy, but momma loves more than a text.”
And you know what? She called in that moment. I love that. Now…if I could only figure out how to manifest other stuff. 😉 I’ll let you know if I discover any secrets, but my gut tells me there is something to intentionality. Purposeful thought.
We had a lovely catch-up chat as she drove and I sipped. We covered my momma checklist – health, work, relationships, kittens (she has two new darlings named Machi and Trouble). More than anything, it was good to hear her voice. It’s a blessing and a curse for parents, the ability to detect malaise and tension in a wave of feeling. She might tell me everything is okay in a text, but I need to hear it for myself. Does that make sense to you?
Delaney and I did that dance when she was thousands of miles away in college. When her words didn’t match the affect and emotion I felt, I’d dig deeper. Full exploratory mode – and of course she hated it. She often said she struggled in phone conversations with me because she knew my radar could be engaged oh-so-easily and she didn’t need my eyes (or intuition) on every issue. I’m grateful for the relationship we have now and the simple delight that comes from an early morning phone call.
Last night I received another gift. A long overdue chat with one of my mentors, Phil. When folks ask when I’ll write a ‘how to’ book – the follow-up to “Surviving Sue” – I think of Phil as a featured player in any expose of how I managed the madness. What a wondrous human he is, much like my other mentor and guide – whom I affectionately refer to as “Professor Plum”. Most folks are fortunate if they a single mentor in their careers. Me? I had several and both Phil and “Professor Plum” deserve ample credit for me…being me. (Hmm…credit or blame. Let me chew on that!)
I was blessed to work alongside talented Phil when I was a vulnerable college student and intern. Finding my way, I realize now I was on the lookout for guides who’d struggled with their own issues in life but blazed a trail – not just for themselves but those who’d follow. Phil was that guy for me. We’ve stayed connected for more than thirty years and his perspective on life continues to amaze and inspire me.
As we caught up about writing, friends and family our conversation detoured into parenting and the magic that exists when we see our lives through our children’s eyes. Is it a biologically based depth of understanding about our stories, the challenges and triumphs that amazes us? Our children – as adults – have the capacity to detect the nuances of a life well-lived. Imperfect lives that glisten with gratitude. Phil and I hadn’t intended to talk about parenting joy, but it arrived naturally in our conversation. And it was good.
Being a parent is a privilege and of all the roles I’ve had in life, by far, it’s the one that brings tears and smiles (often at the same time) when simple gifts arrive. Delaney and Phil. Two treasured phone calls in one day. I’m a lucky girl.
-Vicki ❤
Victoria Ponders 
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