Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Care & Keeping

I received a wonderful review recently on Amazon and it made my week. Lindsey’s kind words lined up beautifully with my latest project as I continue promoting my book:

Lindsey…if you’re reading this, thank you so much. I dunno about being exceptional, but I’m getting comfier with me…being me.

Your sweet review was just the incentive I needed to keep working on my next workshop, “Navigating Elder Care with Grace & Humor”.  One of the unexpected joys about book promotion is the offer to present on topics near and dear – drawn from the pages of “Surviving Sue”. 

Writers know the process of creating can be a blur of forced isolation in order to write, write, write and endlessly edit.  Whether you’re going at it alone or with the help of beta readers, editors, agents, publishers, the words are yours and the mantle rests on your shoulders.  And then…

After all your hard work, your book exists.  You birthed a “book-baby” and boom – your duties shift into another gear altogether:

Welcome to Promo-Land where the job is all about storytelling – about the story.

The insights, the characters, the big moments, the quiet elements.

You hope for feedback from readers.

You hope your book will be enjoyed – useful.

You hope you will survive.

It’s the one-woman show of my life and while I thought I was prepared, I wasn’t.  Not even close.

What helps?  Those blessed queries and comments from readers. Hearing that the broad strokes and nuances were understood.

Injections of recognition propel me forward, motivating me to create and post book club resources like these handouts about the predominant themes in “Surviving Sue”.  I’ve heard they’ve been helpful – and I love that.

I’ll tell you a secret. I overlooked a compelling thread as I wrote because I was literally tooclosetoseeit. The singular characteristic which defines me, my ‘care and keeping’ intentions. Doing my best to be a good human to myself, and to others:

Hello, my name is Vicki and I’m a caregiver.

It doesn’t matter whether I’m in my professional role or I’m in mom or wife mode. It doesn’t matter if I’m caring for my disabled sister, Lisa, or chugging along the painful path I experienced with Sue. 

“Caregiver” = Vicki.

And I know I’m not alone.

It’s a role each of us takes on in one way or another. Variances in depth, breadth and specifics; it’s one of the human unifiers.

Finding compassion and good humor…bending without breaking?  I had plenty of help and I learned a few tricks along the way.  Some call it ‘self-care’. I called it – then and now – self-preservation. Not optional.

One of my dear ones – a friend who would check in on me regularly during the most somber days with Sue – was sassy, brassy and a literal beacon, reminding me that I could persevere.  She’d send a quick text or call to ask, “How’s life on the struggle bus, today?”  Struggle bus.  She saw me and knew a soupcon of humor would help. 😉

Her simple outreach acknowledged the load I carried – with a dash of silliness – lifting me up when I felt low.  Nothing magical.  Not heroic.  Her sweet text messages were booster shots of love.

In a few weeks, I get to return the favor in a new way. In the “Navigating Elder Care with Grace & Humor” workshop, I’ll share what I know.  Supporting one another through self-care, parenting, caregiving for elders or other dependents (like my sweet sister, Lisa) is a colossal job.  The best strategies for survival?  It’s the rallying and sharing.  Commiserating as we find our way. Trading tips.

When readers like Lindsey offer heartfelt feedback, it’s like jet fuel. I’m ready for takeoff. I believe in ‘better together’.

Little baby drumroll, please… 

Here’s where I’ll be next month:

Navigating Elder Care | Palos Heights Public Library (librarycalendar.com)

I’m excited that a couple of venues are interested in this topic and I’m grateful to the Chicago Writers Association and my publisher, Eckhartz Press for their support.  I’m thrilled that a topic as important as caregiving can be highlighted as a resonant theme from “Surviving Sue”. Care and keeping. Looking out for ourselves and those we love.

Vicki 😉

P.S. Check out more “Peek Inside” content about “Surviving Sue”.

P.P.S. Wynne Leon and I love supporting other writers. We have a workshop – also available from the Chicago Writers Association about “Writing for Resilience”. Here’s a free peek at a similar workshop, done for our friends at RevelEleven recently.

P.P.P.S (Is that a thing?) I’m grateful for the great “Surviving Sue” reviews on Amazon and Goodreads…and the wonderful questions and input from thoughtful readers. I welcome more!  If you’ve enjoyed the book and my story, please pass along your positivity to a fellow reader.



48 responses to “Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Care & Keeping”

  1. Congrats on the great review, Vicki.

    I love the term struggle bus. How appropriate. And what a blessing to have a friend that checks in on your during the hardest days when the bend feels like a snap! 🙏 That’s one of the ingredients that helps us power through those days of struggles.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. With you all the way, Ab! Our friends – near and far – can make a massive difference simply by recognizing our efforts. Thank you for all the cheering and encouragement — and for the vulnerability you share in your beautiful storytelling. It’s a privilege to read! 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve known a few caregivers in my life and I don’t know if it’s “too close to see it” or a natural part of the trait, but they all overlooked the beauty of their gift and how they’ve been able to help and guide others. Glad you’re getting recognition for it Vicki. Self promotion can feel strange, but glad too that your book is getting the praise it deserves. Congratulations

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for all of that, Brian. It does feel strange (the promo stuff) but if I can encourage others, I’ll keep at it. It was the point of writing in the first place…”if I can, you can”. Appreciate you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What a wonderful review! How wonderful!
    I have a friend going through the caregiver role right now. I’ll have to share the words Struggle Bus with her.
    Congratulations once again!

    Like

    1. Thank you, Nancy. You’re so kind! Give my best wishes to your friend. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I will. I had many years as a caregiver to my Mom. I sure do miss her. But she is happy and dancing with my Daddy in heaven now.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. There you go! That’s lovely – what a beautiful way to remember both of them well. 🥰❤️🥰

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Navigating elder care. Hmm, speaking as an elder with lots of close friends who are elders, that sounds like a must-do workshop for all our kids!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good morning, Jane! Gosh yes…sticking together to do it all well. Big hugs! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Great post, Vicki. I’m about to start that journey with my mom, who is 73 and has Parkinson’s disease. The logistics are going to be challenging since I need to convince her to move from Puerto Rico to Illinois. I’m mentally preparing for that season. It’s interesting how the circle of life works—moms taking care of us, and then as they age, it’s our turn to take care of them. I would love to attend your talk in May but I’m going to be out of town, I’ll keep an eye on the next one.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Edward – I’m sorry to hear about your mom’s Parkinson’s. Working out the details of living situations is so difficult – when the moves are relatively close, in terms of miles – but moving your mom from Puerto Rico to Illinois must add so many other dimensions for you and for her. I love how you described this time in our lives as a season and circle of life. So very true. Thank you for your interest in the May event – I’m thrilled to know you’re in Illinois. We’ll cross paths at some point! In the interim, take care of yourself as you take care of your mom. 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you so much, Vicki.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. 😊you’re very welcome 😊

          Liked by 1 person

  6. That is a wonderful comment. I agree with it 100%. I’m also so impressed that you are helping people with elder care. We are all caregivers, aren’t we? Good point.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Elizabeth! I really think one of those massive connecting threads for so many of us is caregiving. Appreciate you! Xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  7. tooclosetoseeit – such a brilliant description of why we need people to hear and read our stories so that we get the benefit of the insight from people who can see it.

    Love the beautiful review. Well deserved. And your lessons on self-preservation and caregiving. So good. Thank you for sharing your hard-ended lessons!! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are the best, Wynne! Thank you for the endless support and encouragement! 🥰❤️🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Congrats on the review Vicki. There’s no doubt it’s well deserved.
    Amazing what writing your story has revealed to you. And how it helps others, you may never know the full extent. And that too is caregiving.
    It’s a valid topic. So many of us in this age group have been there or are there and it’s an arduous path fraught with complexities of emotions and so much to consider. You’re amazing for easing the path for others. And your friend is amazing for supporting you through those darker days.
    The struggle bus is real. Joy comes after that. As you know. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my! What do I say in reply when the comment is more endearing and heartfelt than my post?!?🥰 You are so very thoughtful…and wise. “Fraught with complexities” is the best description of these unique journeys. Sometimes there’s little else to do — supporting one another can make all the difference. Hugs, hugs, hugs! 🥰🥰🥰

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re so right Vicki. Tiny touch points of support make all the difference. 🤗 💕

        Liked by 2 people

        1. …and just as you said…joy follows! Thank you for bringing the joy my way! ❤️

          Liked by 2 people

  9. congratulations on your well-deserved review! I also love the term struggle bus. Because she acknowledged your hardship, and tried to give you some humor at the same time. you are a wealth of information, Sunshine and generosity of spirit!

    XOV

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Vickie…right back at you, my sunshine friend. ☀️ You understand the vulnerability aspects and it makes your praise and kindness all the more lovely. Thank you! 🥰

      Like

  10. drgeraldstein Avatar
    drgeraldstein

    Care giving because you do care. You can put that on your business card, Vicki. Best of luck on your presentation, though you won’t need it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much! Your good wishes mean a lot, my friend. 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

  11. What a lovely review. Your workshop sounds terrific. Tomorrow, I’ll be up in the wee hours of the morning to drive my mum to a medical appointment in Toronto. I’m fortunate that, at 91, she’s in very good health. At the same time, I recognize that can change quickly and my time with her is limited.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sending all my best wishes for you and your mom and for her appointment tomorrow. How wonderful that she’s 91 and in good health. Big hugs to both of you…thanks so much for your kind words, Michelle. xo! 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

  12. petespringerauthor Avatar
    petespringerauthor

    What a terrific review! It means a lot when readers take the time to make sincere comments.

    Your new project sounds great, Vicki. I don’t know that I’ll ever write a nonfiction book about elder care, but my own experiences with my mom and as a volunteer have provided me with strong opinions.

    The protagonists in my stories are generally upper elementary or middle school boys, but I have an idea to make a great grandparent be a central character with her great grandson for a future story.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Pete! You are the best at offering wonderful, heartfelt feedback – whether in book review form or dear comments to a blog post – this one as an example! I bet you could write a terrific book about all you learned about your mom AND your fabulous volunteer work. I think that’s the thing that sustained me often in the actual journey of living with and caring for my mom. Knowing that I had strong people around me who’d dealt with similar challenges made all the difference. The details may vary from person to person and family to family, but the heaviness is the same. Thank you so much. I love your idea about a story with a great grandparent as a central character! 🥰

      Liked by 2 people

  13. Congratulations on the wonderful Amazon review! Your hard work and dedication to the caregiving role is inspiring!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Mary! Much love to you! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Congratulations, Vicki! And I totally think p.p.p.s. is a thing! 😄

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! You know…I take all sorts of liberties with stuff. I need “Rachel eyes” watching me to keep me in line. Hugs and smiles! 🥰😜🥰

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😂 I’m here for you anytime! 💕😆

        Liked by 1 person

        1. All of your boys to look out for and now, Vicki, too? I’ll try to not abuse the privilege! 😜🥰😜

          Liked by 1 person

  15. Congrats of the fab review, and the new project! Both are an open display of how wonderful things happen when you’re authentically YOU. xox 🥰

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wowza…thank you so much, Erin. I appreciate your kindness…I appreciate YOU. 🥰🥰🥰

      Liked by 2 people

  16. Congrats. Your life has certainly changed since you birthed your book baby. What a wonderful term and a great way to explain how you’ve been dealing with your fame! 

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m chuckling. You’re sweet and funny. No fame…just chugging along seeing where all of this leads and enjoying myself. Thank you so much, Ally. 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  17. […] Last week two fellow bloggers happened to post about their challenges with parental elder care on the same day. The one that started my day was LA at Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50, whose post for the day, Calm,  described her difficulties and frustrations in watching her parents age and needing her help, which they don’t always receive with grace. Shortly after reading LA’s post, I read Vicki’s, at Victoria Ponders, who wrote a piece about the challenges – and rewards – of being caregiver to her mother as she sunk into dementia and to her older sister, who has lifelong developmental handicaps. The subtitle of her post was Care and Keeping. […]

    Like

  18. Is there anything more important than being a caregiver, especially since that includes being a mom?

    My first job was at a nursing home, and I’ve had an affinity for the elderly ever since. I’m so glad you’re in this role. It suits you well.

    This line: “I’m getting comfier with me…being me.” I love that so much. ❤ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Betsy! Thanks so much for your sweet comment. Much appreciated! xo! 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  19. […] out this post with some sweet reader feedback, highlighting the importance of ‘care and keeping’ of […]

    Like

  20. […] Last week two fellow bloggers happened to post about their challenges with parental elder care on the same day. The one that started my day was LA at Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50, whose post for the day, Calm,  described her difficulties and frustrations in watching her parents age and needing her help, which they don’t always receive with grace. Shortly after reading LA’s post, I read Vicki’s, at Victoria Ponders, who wrote a piece about the challenges – and rewards – of being caregiver to her mother as she sunk into dementia and to her older sister, who has lifelong developmental handicaps. The subtitle of her post was Care and Keeping. […]

    Like

Leave a reply to Wynne Leon Cancel reply

“Surviving Sue”, a special story about resiliency and love: Eckhartz Press (paperback) and eBook on Amazon.

Peek Inside “Surviving Sue

Visit Resources on Atkinson Group Solutions for more.

Podcasts

Listen to the “Sharing the Heart of the Matter” podcast.

You can find our podcast on Apple, Amazon, Spotify and Pocket Casts.  Please subscribe!

Workshops

Chicago Writers Association Speakers BureauWriting for Wellness; Navigating Elder Care with Grace & Humor; How to Create a Writing Platform; AI for Caregivers

About Me

Learn about five books that inspired and supported my writing journey by visiting my personalized book review page on Shepherd.

BLOG ARCHIVES

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE!