A few months ago, I wrote about musical memories and car songs. As I re-read the post this morning I smiled. Sometimes it’s good to revisit our own words and reel in the comforting reminders.
Let me catch you up…here’s a bit from the that post:
Headed home after dropping Lisa off, I settled in behind the wheel in and turned the radio on again. Our dad, Sonny’s, nearly eponymous “theme song”, “Sunny” greeted me, prompting tears. Happy stuff. Hello, Dad. But the second song that played as I drove? Simple Minds “Don’t You Forget About Me”.
When “The Breakfast Club” debuted in 1985, Sonny thought it was just another John Hughes movie about “high school brats” (maybe, maybe not) but I remembered his approval of the music, especially the Simple Minds theme song and these lyrics: “Don’t you forget about me”…and “As you walk on by…will you call my name?”.
I can no longer reach out and literally touch my dad, feel the warmth of his bear-like embrace or watch his enormous hands wrap around mine, giving squeezes. But I can remember the feelings and extract the magic. With music. Lyrics and melodies are portals, aren’t they?
“Don’t you forget about me…”
Now – to the more recent experience. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a terrific event that I attended with my sister, Lisa, in celebration of volunteers at the Clearbrook organization for disabled children and adults. (Thank you so much to those of you who offered lovely comments and hearty hellos to Lisa. I passed all the love on to her. She says hi back!)
But I held out on you, dear readers. More magnificence occurred after I dropped Lisa off that evening. Our dad, Sonny, popped into the passenger seat with me once again. My ride-along for the final leg of my drive home.
First a little context…
Sonny was a believer in clubs and organizations – the power of community and affiliation for all. Along with our mom, Sue, he lobbied for the establishment of a Girl Scout Troop for disabled girls in the early 70’s – long before the words diversity and inclusion were rallying cries. No ADA yet (Americans with Disabilities Act) and the Special Olympics was in its infancy. Parents needed to be warriors for their kids to be sure they were seen and served. (Still true, I say.)
Every Tuesday night, Sonny drove Lisa across town to a gorgeous Catholic church so she could participate in her Scout meetings. Sue was active in other ways, organizing events with other moms for this first-ever troop of intellectually and physically disabled girls. (I’ve written about my mom’s tremendous capacity for service in this post – Sue’s Big Heart which includes a powerful excerpt from “Surviving Sue“.)
Lisa loved the alone time with our dad and every now and then, I’d tag along, too. Feeling extra special to be included. Sometimes helping Lisa’s troop leader during their meetings but other times? I’d stay in the car to talk with Sonny.
The church parking lot was always empty and, in my memory, the evenings were rainy. I’d hustle into the front seat so I could watch the raindrops run down the windshield. “Raindrop races”, Sonny called them. Watching the tiny rivers and droplets, we’d have conversations both deep and shallow. Silly and irreverent, but often serious talks, too. He’d play the radio, and we’d sing along. I learned about my dad without the interference of Sue and Lisa hovering.
When I drove home after Lisa’s Clearbrook event, long-departed Sonny hopped into the front seat with me. No raindrops – just the oldie, “Everything is Beautiful” by Ray Stevens on the radio. I was stunned and took a dashboard pic…I’m not sure why. Proof? Evidence that I wasn’t having an out-of-body moment?
If you don’t remember the song, I’ve clipped in the YouTube link here. It’s sweet and nostalgic for me. Melancholy, for sure.
Here are the lyrics:
Everything is beautiful in its’ own way
Like a starry summer night or a snow covered winter’s day
Everybody’s beautiful in their own way
Under God’s heaven, the world’s gonna find a wayThere is none so blind as he who will not see
We must not close our minds, we must let our thought be free
For every hour that passes by, you know the world gets a little bit older
It’s time to realize that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholderEverything is beautiful in its’ own way
Like a starry summer night or a snow covered winter’s day
Ah, sing it children
Everybody’s beautiful in their own way (everybody’s beautiful, oh, in their own way )
Under God’s heaven, the world’s gonna find a wayWe shouldn’t care about the length of his hair or the color of his skin
Don’t worry about what shows from without but the love that lives within
We’re gonna get it all together now and everything gonna work out fine
Just take a little time to look on the good side my friend
And straighten it out in your mindAnd everything is beautiful in its’ own way (yeah, yeah)
Like a starry summer night or a snow covered winter’s day
Ah, sing it children
Everybody’s beautiful in their own way (everybody’s beautiful, oh, in their own way )
Under God’s heaven, the world’s gonna find a way
The song hit me like a ton of bricks that night in the car.
I’d forgotten about the concert.
The concert. The first-ever fundraiser for Lisa’s Girl Scout Troop with the Ray Stevens’ song as the opening and closing anthem. Sue and Sonny helped the girls learn a little sign language (for the lyrics in bold – above) and the lively scouts loved it. “Singing and signing”, Sonny said.
The audience in the cramped church basement was packed, and the girls reveled in the applause – giving two encores of their special song. The imprint on me is ever-lasting…my adult heart grows thinking about the love, overflowing, that night. Parents and family members singing along, praying for a better world for their fragile girls and the world at large. Those suffering, seen and unseen.
Of all the message moments I’ve had in my life, the “Everything is Beautiful” experience will forever stand out. Watching my parents serve as volunteer choir directors, sweaty and proud as fifteen disabled girls gave meaning to a song that still matters.
I suspect that’s what Sonny had in mind; what he wanted me to remember after Lisa’s latest spotlight adventure…highlighting the power of service and helping others.
Message received.
-Vicki 💝
Hi – I’m Victoria, Vicki, Dr. Vicki. I hold a doctorate in Adult Education and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), and author of Surviving Sue | Eckhartz Press.
Check out this link to learn more about my book “Surviving Sue” – all about resilience and love.
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Victoria Ponders 
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