Beginnings, middles and ends….they’re the milestones we navigate every day, in ways both large and small. Are you like me? The Muddling Middle is Maddening….even though I know I must traverse the sloppiness to get to the finish line. I know it, but that doesn’t mean I like it. Nope.
The Middle can be oh-so-messy. The voices that ask, ‘Are you sure?’ Or, as if they see the destination and have reconnaissance I lack, they whisper: ‘It’s not too late to turn back’. Having the confidence and poise to stay the course, while muddling in the Middle takes resolve.
And I’m not just mulling over the BIG DECISIONS in life. The biggies command our attention and one way or another, we decide with intention, or indifference as we choose to slow down, set sail or retreat.
But alongside the biggies sit the littles – the everyday events, tasks, conundrums, and relationships – that we massage and manage. Dutifully, we navigate the littles; the individual arcs, the blips and bumps, and hopefully triumphs, too. Such is life, the mundane and routine riding along with the blasted big stuff.
In the cycle of “BMEs” – beginnings, middles, and ends – I’m most often mired in the Middle because of my nature – I want to influence the unfolding with eyes planted on the destination. I know I’m not unique. The predictable outcomes, the ‘sure things’ give me peace but they’re harder and harder to come by as age and experience season us. We learn to prepare ourselves for disappointment.
All of this may sound a little sobering, but I’m in a pondering frame of mind for a reason. Someone I care about is laboring in the Middle right now and he’s hurting. His resources include patience, but it’s waning, along with his confidence. I’ve offered what guidance I can, as well as my shoulder to lean on, but I wish my shoulder was heftier, more formidable. I wish I could do more. I wish I could be a better champion and tease out a conclusion for him – an ending point – some sort of punctuation. I want to lighten the hold that his Middle malaise has on him. Provide relief.
The MIDDLE isn’t a villain, really and it doesn’t mean to conjure anxiety. It just does – as the holder of menacing ‘what ifs’. Those dreaded doubts. They create shadows masking the glimmers of hopeful light. Like summer fireflies, the glimmers ARE there – but harder to detect. Or is it the fear of having hope? If I greet this sweet elusive light, might it run from me and retreat into the shadows?
But move we must, and this is what I tell my friend. Don’t languish in the Middle. As the finish line and destination appear, remember that invariably, a new path, a fresh beginning is likely there as well. And he’s in charge. Want to loop back? Do it. Forge a trail that may be both new and unfamiliar? You can. Just remember to pack well, carrying more confidence than doubt and consider heeding the sweet advice from Tom Hiddleston:
“You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.”
One foot in front of the other, indeed.
Vicki ❤
Victoria Ponders... 
Love this post, Vicki. The muddling middles – or the messy middles. So much room for doubt. The advice you’ve given your friend sounds perfect – don’t languish there.
But it reminds me of a post I wrote about the middle where I try to enjoy it. I’ll send it in a different comment because it’ll probably go right to spam.
Sending big hugs – to you for your wisdom and to your friend for the middle (and his luck of having a great friend like you!).
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Thank you, Wynne — and thanks too, for sharing the piece you wrote — can’t wait to take a peek. xo! 😊
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https://wynneleon.wordpress.com/2022/04/04/in-the-middle/
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Okay, girl! Love it — and yes to the idea of pausing to remember…but needing to take the time to pay attention, rather than rush to ‘the end’. So good – and lovely encouragement for slowing and savoring. xo, Wynne! ❤ And — what a great photo of you, D and O. So sweet!
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Slowing and savoring are better for the middles that aren’t so yucky for sure! And yes, that is my favorite middle to be between my two kids!! XOXO
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It’s the sweetest pic, Wynne! 😘
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Of course, I had to go and read it too. 😊 Wynne, have you ever considered putting your blog posts together into a book?
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Kendra – you are such a good encourager! Maybe one day I will do a book. Thank you for being such an interested reader and friend!
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What a great idea! 😊😊😊
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I’m calling you two up whenever I need an ego boost! 🙂
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Right here on speed dial…is that still a thing? 😜
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Love this response – because I was going to put that in my original reply! Not sure if it is but even just in theory, exactly!
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You know we’re headed into freaky territory, right? You crack me up…and I worry about you if you have too many parallels to moi….oh poor Wynne! 🤪
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That just means I’m perfectly aligned with where I should be if I’m in parallel to you!
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I’m smiling and smirking at you, silly one! 😉🙃😉
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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You’ve summed the middles up perfectly, Vicki. From feelings of “I never should have started down this path” to “Do I turn back or trudge on?” to being afraid to see the glimmer of hope. I love how you ended it though: don’t languish in the middle, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. And love to both you and your friend that’s in the middles.🤍
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You are such a love. Thanks, Kendra! xo 😘
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Enjoy the ride … even the middle part, where you have no idea where you’re headed or how long it will take to get there. Sounds sketchy … but is some really great advice. Thanks for the reminder!
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Thank you, Brian! 😉
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