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Enjoying the Moment!
Amazon rankings are like shooting stars — or roller coasters…fast, fleeting with scary twists and turns. But for the moment, I’m sitting pretty. Me…and “Surviving Sue” hanging out at #29. Cheers to supportive readers! Vicki ❤️ Continue reading
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Happy Birthday, Dad! ❤
Ho, Ho, Ho…and a heads-up! You may have read this post from a year ago…thinking about my beloved papa as his birthday rolled around. Today marks what would’ve been his 88th birthday and I’ll be celebrating him all day – in ways large and small – not least of which as I remember the gifts he Continue reading
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Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Heartfelt Feedback
I think one of the reasons I wrote about my mom, Sue, was to receive support and recognition for the effort and triumph of literally surviving Sue. If you’d asked me as I was wrote, I would’ve shrugged off that thought because I wanted to believe I was writing for posterity. To bring clarity for Continue reading
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You Are the Universe
I love this quote: You are the universe, expressing itself as a human for a little while. -Eckhart Tolle “You are the universe” is such a powerful phrase. A nudge to take care of ourselves, lest our needs tumult to the bottom of a lengthy to-do list. Tolle’s reminder also speaks to urgency…we are one, Continue reading
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Podcast Friday! Holiday Wisdom 🌟
I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays. I love the revelry and festivities. I hate the anxiety and retread over painful bits of family history. Every family’s got their share and I’ve yet to find wisdom that’s better than the gift Wynne and I received from our friend and writer, Stuart Perkins. Across my Continue reading
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Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Sue Had Rizz
Have you heard? The youthful Gen Z term,“rizz”, was crowned 2023’s word of the year by the publishers of the Oxford English Dictionary: What it means: For those of us who haven’t heard the term before, “rizz” is slang for “style, charm, or attractiveness” or “the ability to attract a romantic or sexual partner,” according to Continue reading
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Lean Into the Light
I’ve had many mantras. Nothing fancy, just little bits of wisdom that fly into my consciousness if I can air it out. I tend to be a wayward thinker and can get wrapped up in cloaking mode, self-editing. Some days…. it’s a chore to self-talk my way into being me. Less artifice. Invoking advice from Continue reading
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Podcast Friday! Best Friend…Part Deux
Shoot. Darn. Rats. I don’t know where that expression comes from (I haven’t dug in to find out) but it came into my life from a dear work colleague who often wanted to unleash every swear word in her arsenal when she saw someone being slighted or maligned. Instead, “Caitlin” would vehemently vent, while pacing Continue reading
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Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Holiday Hopefulness
“We’ve all survived a Sue in our lives in one way or another. It’s a personal narrative that hits our hearts.” -Elizabeth I love Elizabeth’s feedback and wisdom. Yes — maybe your nemesis wasn’t named “Sue” but increasingly as readers dig into “Surviving Sue” I receive input that the challenges I wrote about are familiar. Continue reading
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Sentimental Significance
Some of you might recall the stories I shared about our big kitchen remodeling project. The kitchen refresh that morphed into a bathroom remodel…and then a gut of the laundry room. Guess what?! We’re on the other side and we survived! Paul and I are still married (and speaking to each other!) and we’re beyond Continue reading
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Podcast Friday! Being Your Own Best Friend
It’s a delight when Wynne and I get to visit with our friend, Dr. Gerald Stein and this week’s podcast was sooooo good, it’s dropping in two parts. I find I’m especially ready to receive wisdom when the calendar turns to December. Something about the end of one year and the near dawn of the Continue reading
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The Best Morning Smile
Don’tcha love it when something simple makes your day? As I drove to an appointment I dreaded this morning I found myself following a truck with the sweetest bumper sticker EVER. I tried to capture a pic as I sat behind the large red truck at several stop lights, but they didn’t turn out well Continue reading
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Lucid Dream: Vicki Style
Do you have recurring stress dreams? I’ve had the same one for years and I think it’s related to my former work life and a lot of travel – presenting at conferences and seminars around the country. I LOVED that part – doing the workshops and visiting with people. But traveling for me – then Continue reading
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Podcast Friday! Listen to the Children
I’m not sure it’s a good idea to play favorites…but this week’s podcast takes the cake…and that’s saying a lot around here, given that it’s the Friday after the feast-o-rama known as Thanksgiving. I’m so full of pie. I AM pie. But there’s a nice detour ahead. I can’t think of anything better that receiving Continue reading
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Girlfriend Gratitude
One of the absolute best things about growing older is the comfort of friends who’ve been around the globe with you a time or two…or more. I’m lucky in that way with my dearest Linda whose been at my side for decades. We both know that holiday time can summon a flood – a rush Continue reading
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Thanksgiving Delights
I grew up enjoying David Letterman’s special brand of irreverent humor. Considering how provocative and outrageous comedy has become, Dave’s mild-mannered grumblings and observations seem ultra tame in the looking back. Odd, though…my dad disliked Dave, sharing often that he was no competition for his beloved Johnny Carson. Loyal to a fault, dad thought Letterman Continue reading
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The Mismatch: Words and Deeds
I haven’t shared much about my poetry practice here on Victoria Ponders but it’s a part of my life and a tool that I return to for reflection and resolution. I love a good ‘free write’ and while I’ve written about other poetry in the past, taking a few minutes to allow a stanza or Continue reading
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Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Mentoring Matters
I’d like to introduce you to someone special. Someone I adore. Professor John Muchmore, now retired, was a dear college faculty member and mentor and he helped me find my voice…the one that was often squelched by my mom, Sue. He was a speech and theatre teacher…but to me, he was a maestro and a Continue reading
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Lisa Gets the Last Word
When people ask me to describe my sister Lisa’s personality, I share that she is sweet beyond belief and fragile, but I also acknowledge her ever-growing capacity to advocate for herself and assert her point of view. Lisa is simultaneously delightful and determined with a sense of humor like a steam roller. Coming in. Make Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: “Coffee” Style
I’ve been doing the “proffee” thing for a couple of years. You’ve heard of this? The trick of jazzing up your morning joe with a little protein powder? It’s yummy…if you mix it well with your milk of choice and then add your coffee. Iced or hot – it’s great. I love a little vanilla Continue reading
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The Disappearing Girl – Part IV
I promise this is the last leg of the “Disappearing Girl” story. If you’ve arrived here without reading installment #3, head over to Heart of the Matter. You might want to peek at that first…and then come back. I’ll be here. No need to rush…but please DO come back to read this last part. It’s Continue reading
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Podcast Friday!
TGIF times a zillion. It’s been a week around here. How ‘bout you? If you have a few minutes, I think you’ll enjoy my latest chat with Wynne…about how to recognize looming disappointment and batten down our hatches. Speaking for myself, my hatches need battening. 😉 Wynne and I love to laugh – as much Continue reading
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The Disappearing Girl – Part II
Hello there…and BOO! I’m playing a little trick on all of you…but it’s not about the story I’m sharing. I have a haunting tale to tell in four parts…. but for Part I of “The Disappearing Girl” you’ll need to hop over to my Heart of the Matter post to learn about an unusual photo Continue reading
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Happy Birthday, Hubs!
Yep…it’s the hubster, Paul’s, birthday. And you might be wondering about the combo of photos represented here. A pic of a blueberry cake and a truly beaten up old deskplate/sign? What do these two things have to do with Paul’s birthday? I’m gonna tell you! 😉 You might’ve discerned that a cake…and his birthday might not Continue reading
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Evocative Artistry
Crawling into my soul I can occasionally discern connections between beloved works of art. Not because I have any training. I’m just a devoted patron and a woman in awe of artistry. All things visual draw me in and when I can use imagery to help solidify a feeling or capture a long-lost moment, my Continue reading
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Push Those Buttons!
Speaking of cars and driving – which I explore in my Heart of the Matter post today – sharing memory lane recollections of safety lessons from my papa. I had an a-ha. I realized the driving issues of today would make my dad cringe. When he passed away in 1997, cell phones were becoming less Continue reading
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A Little Spark
My dear blogging buddy Deb wrote a fabulous post this week about courage and singing. It was enchanting and enjoyable and reminded me of a silly chanteuse moment, years ago where I embarrassed myself but lived through it. Here’s the post: Falling in Avignon. If you read, promise you won’t think less of me. And Continue reading
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One Hand on His Back
The smallest acts of kindness can render me tearful. Yesterday I was at a doctor’s office for a routine procedure and while I waited for my turn, I observed a harried front desk person who was juggling busy phone lines while tending to in-person patients. I wanted to jump in to help her (which, obviously, Continue reading
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Characteristics of Courage
Where does courage come from and how might one build bench strength to be ever-more resilient in the face of onslaughts of all sorts? One of the resources I’ve used for several years is a book from Dr. Melanie Greenberg: The Stress-Proof Brain: Master Your Emotional Response to Stress Using Mindfulness and Neuroplasticity. I know! Continue reading
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Breathe the Air
The influence of the earth and the cadence of the seasons….on my mind today. As much as I’ve maligned the morning darkness over these past few weeks, I’m taking comfort in the normalcy of a pulling in, coming inside, after a long summer of sunshine and nature’s delights. What is it about the approach of Continue reading
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You’re No Keanu!
If you’d ever asked me if I might write a blog post based on a purported quote from Keanu Reeves, I would’ve laughed at you. I mean…no disrespect…but it wasn’t until I rummaged around in my quote pile (mess, hoard, chaos, clutter, jumble – you pick the word you like – any/all apply) and found Continue reading
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A Loss of Two-Thirds
I wrote a post a few months ago about my affection for John Muir and I’m learning that when I’m disconcerted about something, even this less-than-outdoorsy girl needs to get her feet on the ground, in nature, to work out heartaches. Yesterday I returned to a favorite garden – this time to visit the Continue reading
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But Does it Make Coffee?
In another life, I suspect the hubster Paul was a meteorologist. Or a carpenter. Or a combo of the two. Proof? Our modest little indoor/outdoor thermometer bit the dust last week which meant Paul needed to go sleuthing for a suitable replacement. I think it’s one of his seasonal shifts, becoming more aware of the Continue reading
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Little Me
Inspired by Maryanne and her beautiful blog, I learned this morning that it’s National School Picture Day. Was it designated as such because ‘throwback Thursday‘ is still a thing? I’m not sure…BUT…I loved Maryanne’s post and the sweet school picture she included. It didn’t take much prompting from Maryanne to dig out one of my Continue reading
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Sue’s Big Satchel
At what point does an object become a character, a featured player in a story? I wondered about that the other day when a reader of “Surviving Sue” chuckled about how much she connected with the descriptions of “Sue’s big purse” or “Sue’s behemoth of a satchel” in the book. Yep, my mom’s favorite accessory Continue reading
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“Tree” Ring Circus
I enjoyed catching up with a friend this week and we shared some giggles about a tussle between two of his family members over Labor Day Weekend. I’m not sure if the hilarious story has the makings of a great commercial for hearing aids, a landscaping business or a jewelry store. Here’s what happened. Continue reading
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Peanut Butter Cup Confessional
Happy Friday, Friends! This morning’s post is nearly writing itself. I woke up giggling about yet another moment of self-imposed silliness and figured I should just share, confessional-style. Especially in a week where I wrote about jeans that were too tight. 😉 Oh my. Maybe it’s a theme and I’m working it out by sharing? Last Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: New Levi’s
Last week, the hubs and I headed out to run the usual errands – plus a couple of extras – as we did all the ceremonial gathering of stuff for our Labor Day barbeques. Nothing special about THAT except for the extra number of stops on our itinerary and the dubious choice I made about Continue reading
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Super Lisa!
When my sister Lisa was born, we didn’t know the extent of her vision issues. Over time we learned and thanks to many doctors along the way, Lisa’s vision was corrected as much as possible, but she’s still legally blind in one eye. As a tot, Lisa loved looking at picture books but had little Continue reading
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Cheers to Little Birds
I miss my dear friend Kathleen. She moved a few months ago (actually six months ago) but it feels like much more. Sure, we talk regularly and she keeps me posted on news from her new world. Adventures and fun in her new, sunny locale, but still – she’s a couple thousand miles away. Kathleen Continue reading
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Lovely, Little Books
My mother-in-law, Maxine, was one of the most gracious women I ever met. I cannot believe she’s been gone since 2009. She was around for many years of the mayhem with my mom, Sue, and despite being shocked and overwhelmed at times, Maxine was always a soft landing spot, reminding me that Sue’s lack of Continue reading
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Loving Lisa: “They’re All Together Now”
The eighth anniversary of our mom Sue’s passing was this past Monday. I knew it might be a tricky day for Lisa, my disabled sister, so I was prepared with extra energy and love to help her over any rough patches. Our beloved cousin, Dan, passed away just a few months ago and Lisa’s still struggling Continue reading
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Back to School – With Love
It’s a tricky time of year for me, this ‘back to school’ season in August. For decades I was an educator who abhorred late summer because the days were long as teachers, staff, administrators did the gearing up dance for a new school year. Summer’s so fleeting and the heavy shift from less encumbered summer Continue reading
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Friends are Like Songs in Your Heart
Wynne and I shared a giggle the other day. She gifted me a fabulous book of quotes a few months ago and it’s on my desk…overstuffed with snippets of wisdom. Quotes, bon mots, websites, post-it notes – see the pic above. It’s a hot, hot mess. Notice I’m not giving you the broad shot of Continue reading
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Two Treasured Calls
Yesterday our dear daughter (Delaney) called as she was driving to work at 6am. I was up, working on my first cup of coffee and as I sipped – just minutes before her call – I thought: “I haven’t talked to Delaney for a couple of days…I know she’s busy, but momma loves more than Continue reading
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Protecting the Potential for Joy
I think I’ve crossed over to another phase in life. My adoration for vintage films (and I’m talking my own form of vintage – films popular from my youth) is a new-found source of entertainment happiness. Maybe it’s because I can’t tolerate much from broadcast television or cable news. I don’t want to be an Continue reading
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175 Sleeps
It’s been nearly six months since we said goodbye to our seven-pound wonder dog, Sadie. Twenty-five weeks ago last night, the hubs and I had a fretful, sleepless night as our little girl’s health declined rapidly – waking at midnight with tremors and neurological issues. Those eight hours that we spent cuddling her, comforting her, Continue reading
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Little One…and Mama
I spied…mama and baby deer this morning and I was shocked by how much “baby” has grown (first pic). The second photo (sorry for the grainy-ness through the screen) was taken just a couple of weeks ago when I wrote about my favorite twosome. Baby’s sweet markings and slight physique were obvious then…less so today. Continue reading
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Learning from Wise Ones: Three C’s
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. -Viktor Frankl When people ask me – especially after reading “Surviving Sue” – about my self-preservation secrets and tips for resiliency, I smile. Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: Lisa and Dollar Store Delight
Every now and then I need to be an interpreter for my sweet sister, Lisa. When she’s overcome with laughter, the fine line between despair and delight can be hard to detect. Tears and torment might ride along with giggles and smiles. Mercurial and rapid, Lisa’s capacity for displaying the full range of human emotions Continue reading
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The Concert That Never Was…
My parents, Sue and Sonny, adored Tony Bennett and during the time they lived near San Francisco, they’d make a point of attending one of his concerts every year – often around Christmas or New Year’s Eve as a way to celebrate their birthdays and holidays all rolled into one. In 1989, the concert date Continue reading
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The Nearness of You
I promise I won’t post about the deer in our backyard forever…but I think I’ve got two more photos to share, along with a moment that stirred me this morning. Not so much about the deer but about being a mom and what it means to me, how ever-changing and awe-inspiring it can be. Continue reading
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My Natural State is Happy
I love hearing from former students. They pop up for all sorts of reasons. Letters of recommendation? Sure. Reference requests? Yes, yes. Fairly often. Outreach to ask for career or relationship advice? Definitely. Many of the referrals I receive in my consulting business come from former students and clients. They know that Vicki. When I Continue reading
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Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Angels On My Path
One of the recurrent themes in the story of my mom’s life is the presence of empathy warriors – beautiful humans who stepped out of their comfort zones to provide support, despite the potential of triggering Sue’s wrath. In “Surviving Sue” I pay homage to the individuals who made a difference by extending loving kindnesses Continue reading
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Baby & Mama
A couple of weeks ago I posted about our worries about a “Dear Deer”…a sweet lonely and lame girl who became a frequent visitor in our backyard. Sadly, we’ve seen no signs of her recently, but other family members 😊popped by, reminding us that life goes on. The scene in the pic (snipped in above) Continue reading
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Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Dads & Daughters
I love the interest readers have about my dad’s story. It’s one of the themes in my book, the ‘special survival bonds between dads and daughters’ and this week I’m sharing more about my dad. As Sue’s spouse, my dad had his hands full. Mix in a successful career and complexities with his own extended Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: Sleep Deprived Style
I love friends who know me well enough to provide a swift kick when I need one, sometimes with a knowing giggle. I’ve got a few relentless jokesters in my life, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. (Well, maybe a cookie, today I’ve got a hankering for a cookie and I’m not gonna lie Continue reading
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Making Peace with Food
In my Heart of the Matter post this morning I share my ‘Top 13’ tricks and tips for taking care of myself. I edit it from time to time, but for the most part they’re my tried-and-true healthful habits. But that’s not the point of this post. Nope, nope, nope. Welcome to the dark side, Continue reading
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Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Humor 😊
Both of my parents possessed a wicked sense of humor. Thank goodness for that. However, the close alignment between comedy and tragedy was never lost on me. Mom’s humor was often a harbinger of chaos to come. Laugh? Cry? Sometimes I didn’t know which to do first and I wasn’t alone. When my dad was Continue reading
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Dear Deer
When we moved into our current home a few years ago we were excited to see an abundance of wildlife in our backyard, especially the families of deer. Our neighbors shared that the little nook (honestly, I don’t know what it’s called – a glen?) in our yard’s been a birthing spot for deer for Continue reading
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Hello, Dad!
My dad passed away just a few days before Father’s Day in 1997, after we’d just been on vacation with him. I share more in my Heart of the Matter post today – about remembering my wonderful papa on Father’s Day…and every day…but here? I’m letting the photos tell the story, especially a couple of Continue reading
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A Smiley Face Mystery! 😊
It’s a mystery, for sure. Our kitchen/downstairs remodeling fun continues and we’re making…err, I should say our carpenter, plumber, designer, electrician friends…are making good progress. Next week we might see an installation of countertops. Woohoo! Meanwhile, we’ve been roughing it with a makeshift kitchenette in our old laundry room and the hubster’s office became the Continue reading
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Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Elder Care
Thank you so much for the feedback and input about the themes in my book, “Surviving Sue”. I promised I’d provide a peek, once a week, into the book, one tidbit at a time. This week? I’ve got elder care on my mind. (New! Feel like listening instead? Check out the latest Heart of the Continue reading
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My Life, My Happiness
I know writer Hunter S. Thompson was an intriguing and controversial figure. I’ve found those two words – the adjectives ‘intriguing and ‘controversial’ – to be frequent descriptors when I think about him. I love reading about people who spent their lives stirring things up. 😉 It doesn’t mean I condone the behaviors or actions, but Continue reading
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Loving Lisa: Raindrops & Teardrops
My sweet sister Lisa, despite her disabilities, has a magical memory. Savant-like, especially related to music that underscored both joyful and challenging moments as we grew up. Whenever Lisa gets a song in her head that propels her into recall mode, I stop whatever I’m doing because I know the memory will be rich and Continue reading
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Peek Inside: “Surviving Sue” – Parents are People, Too
Thank you so much for the feedback and input about the themes in my book, “Surviving Sue” . I promised I’d provide a peek, once a week, into the book, one tidbit at a time. This week? I’ve got birthdays on my mind and for a good reason. I’ll explain. When I met my husband, Continue reading
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Triumph Tale
With permission, I invite you to into a Triumph Tale about a former client (and yes, I’ve changed her name and identifiable details). When I asked if I could write about a recent transformative experience, “Maria” laughed, fairly certain no such growth had occurred. I disagreed. Proud of her for finding her way, I told Continue reading
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“Surviving Sue”: Peek Inside
What a fun whirlwind the past few days have been. Thank you to all of you who’ve expressed an interest in my book. I promise I won’t post about it all the time, but based on feedback from a few fabulous followers, I’ve decided I’ll blog about the book once a week under the title Continue reading
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“Surviving Sue” Has Launched
How did I end up here? My mom’s life was remarkable in its complexity but nothing about that fact makes her story noteworthy, nor does it explain my compulsion to write about her life. Most families carry pain and unfinished business but the nuances and shades…the ways in which we navigate varies so dramatically. I’ve Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: Wishful Thinking
I wrote a post for Heart of the Matter on Sunday, wistfully mentioning how much I appreciate it when our grown daughter leans in, expressing her need for motherly wisdom, advice, connection. Waxing nostalgic, about her younger days when I was more of a featured player in her life, I referred to her as my Continue reading
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You Be You
I have a former client whose chief dilemma was that he clamored to be extroverted, feeling frustrated that he never found a way to be at ease in social situations. Sure, there’s a lot more to the story but the point is that he couldn’t get comfortable with himself. In his mind, the more social, Continue reading
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Stormy Weather
I had a long chat recently with a former colleague and it was a delightful opportunity to catch up. She was the sort of confidante who could lift up the entire universe with her good humor and work ethic. The kind of colleague that you clamor to be near… shiny, smart and driven…and unafraid to Continue reading
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Looking Out…Looking In
Hey there! The remodeling fun continues at our house and this morning I sat in the only chair remaining in our kitchen nook after wrestling it toward the door to the deck. As you look at the view behind the comfy floral chair…you’ll see our kitchen has a fridge again – whoopee – but not Continue reading
“Surviving Sue”, a special story about resiliency and love: Eckhartz Press (paperback) and eBook on Amazon.
Peek Inside “Surviving Sue“
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