Wellness
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Inner Steadiness
My dear friend Linda Kolbusz sent me a message the other day – a LinkedIn post written by one of her former colleagues, Jodie Charlop. You can click here to read the whole essay if you like…Jodie’s thoughts about the new year. I know there are plenty of pundits and writers espousing thoughtfulness when January Continue reading
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Hello, Henry
“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” -Thich Nhat Hanh One of my favorite things about the week in between Christmas and New Year’s Eve is finding pockets of quiet. During one of those interludes – after I’d cleaned up the kitchen for the ten thousandth time – I stopped and made a cup of tea and Continue reading
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Thanksgiving Humor 😊
Of all the things I wrote on WordPress in 2023, a post about mashed potatoes still gets a lot of attention. I suspect it has little to do with the holiday itself – or the spuds in question. I think the readership has more to do with the message. Even in the pressure cooker of Continue reading
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Morning Message
I’m not a poet but I love to dabble, especially when stream-of-consciousness poetry arrives. Almost in an auto-write format. I’ll explain… It doesn’t happen often, but words and phrases…sometimes whole stanzas of poetry command my attention if my dad populated my subconscious overnight. I wish I could summon these bon-mot-moments on demand. Alas, I must Continue reading
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“Pieces of Me”
My dear friend, poet Maggie Watson is a treasure. One of the most unexpected joys in blogging comes from meeting dear ones all around the world. Talented Maggie delights me with good wishes and waves “across the pond” from Scotland and taught me about a treat I’d never heard of – jelly tots. But the Continue reading
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Stole My Heart 💝
Lauren Scott’s beautiful new book, “King Copper – Our Dog’s Life in Poetry” stole my heart. Sadly, one of the common denominators in life is loss. When those I care about – friends, family, clients, former students – reach out and share their grief about losing a pet, there’s often a sense of shame about Continue reading
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Change Your Mind
Where did the time go? The band, Sister Hazel released “Change Your Mind” twenty-five years ago this month?!? When I looked it up, I was in disbelief. So, I checked and checked again, feeling windburn from the emotional rush. I bet you – or someone you hold dear – got a lift, a motivational boost Continue reading
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The Poke-Around Method
My poke-around method isn’t the same thing as ‘trial and error’. Let’s be clear. There’s no method to my madness. No tracking of enthusiastic rounds of ‘trying’ and resulting failures. Not even the micro steps that moved a fix-it campaign forward by an inch or two. My challenges aren’t limited to technology (just ask the Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: Just Say Thank You
I did it again. That thing I do when someone is kind and unexpectedly compliments me. It doesn’t matter if it’s about something innocuous or deeply personal, if I’m caught off guard I might babble. A lot. I wonder if the dear lady who simply wanted to express her admiration for my skirt understood. I Continue reading
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Empathy. Do It. ❤
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”-Charles M. Blow Have you heard? Author and journalist Charles Blow is leaving the New York Times as he steps into a fellowship at Harvard. Even if you haven’t followed him at the Times, you might Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: Hello, Herbie?
Someone told me once that we really write for ourselves. Maybe so. But what I know for sure? I’ll admit that I enjoy my periodic posts titled, “When You Crack Yourself Up“. Depending upon my mood, degree of sleep deprivation or frustration with the world, it’s anyone’s guess what might strike my fancy and send Continue reading
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Quiet Confidence
I had a strange moment the other day. It happened while I brushed my teeth…but I promise this isn’t a disclosure about personal hygiene or bathroom humor. I should clarify. Disclosure, yes. But I’m not telling on myself. It’s a story with a resonate undertone about the power of quiet confidence – a desirable quality. Continue reading
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Trusting Ourselves
Do you know this quote? It’s one of my favorites but thanks to my friend, Dr. Gerald Stein, I’ve learned the attribution to Nietzche might be suspect. Given that neither of us can find the book or source material to verify the attribution, this quote might be an anonymous gem. No matter — Nietzche or Continue reading
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Extra Scoop of Grace
I’ve taken my own advice over the past day or so, limiting my overall media consumption from a self-care standpoint. My professional life has taken the forefront as I’ve offered care and resources to colleagues, clients, former students, friends and family members regarding the outcome of the Presidential election here in the U.S. If I Continue reading
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Me & Mariah
I would never have guessed that I had something…anything in common with Mariah Carey. Talented songstress and chanteuse. Not my jam, but who can deny the upbeat, seasonal appeal of “All I Want for Christmas”? A holiday anthem – a toe-tapper according to my dad. But last week I discovered that I do, indeed, have Continue reading
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Dreamy With a Purpose
The quiet in the morning speaks of promise and possibilities. I know it sounds trite, but fresh starts put pep in my step. Daybreak has the power to upgrade my perspective. Pointed wisdom from Rumi popped into my awareness yesterday as well-timed encouragement: The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back Continue reading
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~Late and Lost~
I woke up, disoriented to the max. Foggy and exhausted, as if I’d been running a marathon. In a slumber state. Turns out, I had been. Running, that is. But the image of blue eyeliner pulsing through my brain? This is it, I thought. I’ve lost my marbles. All of them, thanks to this nonsensical Continue reading
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You Were Right
Being a decisive one, I run on conviction most days. Unafraid to take a position on the field yet I need to remember to yield. Give my fellow players…in the game of life…their due. I love a meditative moment when awareness peaks. Across the day, I get swept up in all the “other” but Continue reading
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The Morning Knows…
Some days go awry, don’t they? Even so, every now and then some days unfold better than anticipated. I’ve learned I can’t predict. Just hope for the best and remember to smile whenever possible. Remembering a favorite quote from poet Robert Frost never hurts: “The afternoon knows what the morning never expected.” Isn’t that the Continue reading
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What Do You See?
Well-chosen words add richness to my life… when I slow down and let them in. I have a daily quote book that I love, but I’ll confess I’ve been remiss. Too busy to slow down and take a peek. I have favorites throughout – obvious when I see how the book is beginning to age Continue reading
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Moving On
I’ll spare you all of the details, but a dear client came to me this week with a dilemma. A rewind of a persistent issue… For several years he’s allowed someone he thought of as a friend to live rent free in his head, plagued by her insensitivities and indiscretions of all sorts. Perhaps Continue reading
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In it…to Win it…With Gratitude
I hate to exercise. Hate, hate, hate it. Except…I always feel better after. Everything I know about endorphins and ‘happy chemicals’ from a therapeutic point of view – often helping athletes with sports performance issues – applies to me. It always has, but to get the benefit, like most things that are worthwhile in life, Continue reading
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My Favorite Trio…
I love it when the Universe sends mini-messages. I need to pay attention, but more often than not while I’m drinking my morning tea or coffee, I can conjure up a dynamic duo of insight. Occasionally they roll in as terrific trios. That’s what happened this morning. I give myself a set amount of time Continue reading
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Keeping Company
There are two lines from a Mary Oliver poem, “Mysteries, Yes” that I adore, in part because it serves as a warning and a reminder that being selective about the people, the energy I allow into my life is an active effort. I’d planned to send a snippet of Oliver’s poem to a particular person Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: “Wind Beneath My Wings”
No disrespect intended toward Bette Midler, but her famous song is akin to a laugh track for me. I can’t listen to even the teensiest bit of “Wind Beneath My Wings” without losing my mind. I’ll explain… Do you get the giggles at inopportune times? I’ve been plagued with poorly-timed giggle fits forever. I still Continue reading
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Lizette’s 4-Steps
I love, love, love it when a former student stays in touch. In most situations the reason is related to providing a reference or a letter of recommendation – for grad school or for a job opportunity. I don’t care about the ‘why’. It’s a privilege to be thought of, sometimes five or ten years Continue reading
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Sharing a Secret: My Magic Mood Booster
I found a funny Venn diagram online. I’m not sure of the attribution, but for this very visual, coffee-loving girl, it made me smile. I wish I’d created it, honestly. Sometimes…a picture – a good graphic – says so much. More than words. See what I mean? Which brings me to a favorite song that I cannot Continue reading
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Classic Rewind: Singing in the Lifeboats
Every now and then, a piece of writing, a post from the past still speaks to me. I smile when I think of these as my very own ‘classic rewinds’. Coming at you on this ICYMI-M (In Case You Missed It Monday). First published in February, 2023. Singing in the Lifeboats At first blush, this quote Continue reading
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In Plain Sight
It’s idiom time! Thank you, once again, Merriam Webster: I had an experience last week that reminded me of one of my favorite topics when I was in teacher mode, a unit about the limits of human perception…being unable to see what’s in front of us. I don’t know how much fun the lecture was, Continue reading
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A Greeting Times Three
Sun, moon and stars… A pink stripe in the eastern sky while Venus twinkled heavenward The half-moon said both good day and goodbye And descended into the western horizon…tucking itself in for the day A greeting times three… I like it. This was a fleeting experience this morning. January is making itself known with a forecast Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: Shake & Bake
Our kitchen remodel was close to a yearlong process, and I can’t believe – looking back to a year ago at this time – I was staring down the removal of our oven as we ‘roughed it’ with a makeshift kitchen (mostly in the basement and in our laundry room) for months and months. It’s Continue reading
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My Wish for 2024: Be True to You
On January 1, 2023 I wrote a post quoting Dostoevsky of all things. I shared 490 words about being silly and putting a premium on being myself. Goofy due to sleep deprivation? Sometimes. Goofy because it’s my natural state? Quick to laugh whenever I can – especially at myself? Definitely. That beginning-of-the-year ramble inspired my Continue reading
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Embrace the Messy
I took a photo of the moon this morning. This moon – the one in the pic above. I had one eye open (barely) as I crept downstairs before dawn. The moonshine was so very bright I thought I’d missed a few hours of daylight. I thought the sun was already high in the sky. But Continue reading
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Podcast Friday! Holiday Wisdom 🌟
I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays. I love the revelry and festivities. I hate the anxiety and retread over painful bits of family history. Every family’s got their share and I’ve yet to find wisdom that’s better than the gift Wynne and I received from our friend and writer, Stuart Perkins. Across my Continue reading
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Lean Into the Light
I’ve had many mantras. Nothing fancy, just little bits of wisdom that fly into my consciousness if I can air it out. I tend to be a wayward thinker and can get wrapped up in cloaking mode, self-editing. Some days…. it’s a chore to self-talk my way into being me. Less artifice. Invoking advice from Continue reading
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Podcast Friday! Best Friend…Part Deux
Shoot. Darn. Rats. I don’t know where that expression comes from (I haven’t dug in to find out) but it came into my life from a dear work colleague who often wanted to unleash every swear word in her arsenal when she saw someone being slighted or maligned. Instead, “Caitlin” would vehemently vent, while pacing Continue reading
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Podcast Friday! Being Your Own Best Friend
It’s a delight when Wynne and I get to visit with our friend, Dr. Gerald Stein and this week’s podcast was sooooo good, it’s dropping in two parts. I find I’m especially ready to receive wisdom when the calendar turns to December. Something about the end of one year and the near dawn of the Continue reading
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The Best Morning Smile
Don’tcha love it when something simple makes your day? As I drove to an appointment I dreaded this morning I found myself following a truck with the sweetest bumper sticker EVER. I tried to capture a pic as I sat behind the large red truck at several stop lights, but they didn’t turn out well Continue reading
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Lucid Dream: Vicki Style
Do you have recurring stress dreams? I’ve had the same one for years and I think it’s related to my former work life and a lot of travel – presenting at conferences and seminars around the country. I LOVED that part – doing the workshops and visiting with people. But traveling for me – then Continue reading
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Girlfriend Gratitude
One of the absolute best things about growing older is the comfort of friends who’ve been around the globe with you a time or two…or more. I’m lucky in that way with my dearest Linda whose been at my side for decades. We both know that holiday time can summon a flood – a rush Continue reading
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The Mismatch: Words and Deeds
I haven’t shared much about my poetry practice here on Victoria Ponders but it’s a part of my life and a tool that I return to for reflection and resolution. I love a good ‘free write’ and while I’ve written about other poetry in the past, taking a few minutes to allow a stanza or Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: “Coffee” Style
I’ve been doing the “proffee” thing for a couple of years. You’ve heard of this? The trick of jazzing up your morning joe with a little protein powder? It’s yummy…if you mix it well with your milk of choice and then add your coffee. Iced or hot – it’s great. I love a little vanilla Continue reading
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Podcast Friday!
TGIF times a zillion. It’s been a week around here. How ‘bout you? If you have a few minutes, I think you’ll enjoy my latest chat with Wynne…about how to recognize looming disappointment and batten down our hatches. Speaking for myself, my hatches need battening. 😉 Wynne and I love to laugh – as much Continue reading
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A Little Spark
My dear blogging buddy Deb wrote a fabulous post this week about courage and singing. It was enchanting and enjoyable and reminded me of a silly chanteuse moment, years ago where I embarrassed myself but lived through it. Here’s the post: Falling in Avignon. If you read, promise you won’t think less of me. And Continue reading
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One Hand on His Back
The smallest acts of kindness can render me tearful. Yesterday I was at a doctor’s office for a routine procedure and while I waited for my turn, I observed a harried front desk person who was juggling busy phone lines while tending to in-person patients. I wanted to jump in to help her (which, obviously, Continue reading
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Characteristics of Courage
Where does courage come from and how might one build bench strength to be ever-more resilient in the face of onslaughts of all sorts? One of the resources I’ve used for several years is a book from Dr. Melanie Greenberg: The Stress-Proof Brain: Master Your Emotional Response to Stress Using Mindfulness and Neuroplasticity. I know! Continue reading
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You’re No Keanu!
If you’d ever asked me if I might write a blog post based on a purported quote from Keanu Reeves, I would’ve laughed at you. I mean…no disrespect…but it wasn’t until I rummaged around in my quote pile (mess, hoard, chaos, clutter, jumble – you pick the word you like – any/all apply) and found Continue reading
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Peanut Butter Cup Confessional
Happy Friday, Friends! This morning’s post is nearly writing itself. I woke up giggling about yet another moment of self-imposed silliness and figured I should just share, confessional-style. Especially in a week where I wrote about jeans that were too tight. 😉 Oh my. Maybe it’s a theme and I’m working it out by sharing? Last Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: New Levi’s
Last week, the hubs and I headed out to run the usual errands – plus a couple of extras – as we did all the ceremonial gathering of stuff for our Labor Day barbeques. Nothing special about THAT except for the extra number of stops on our itinerary and the dubious choice I made about Continue reading
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Cheers to Little Birds
I miss my dear friend Kathleen. She moved a few months ago (actually six months ago) but it feels like much more. Sure, we talk regularly and she keeps me posted on news from her new world. Adventures and fun in her new, sunny locale, but still – she’s a couple thousand miles away. Kathleen Continue reading
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Back to School – With Love
It’s a tricky time of year for me, this ‘back to school’ season in August. For decades I was an educator who abhorred late summer because the days were long as teachers, staff, administrators did the gearing up dance for a new school year. Summer’s so fleeting and the heavy shift from less encumbered summer Continue reading
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Friends are Like Songs in Your Heart
Wynne and I shared a giggle the other day. She gifted me a fabulous book of quotes a few months ago and it’s on my desk…overstuffed with snippets of wisdom. Quotes, bon mots, websites, post-it notes – see the pic above. It’s a hot, hot mess. Notice I’m not giving you the broad shot of Continue reading
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Protecting the Potential for Joy
I think I’ve crossed over to another phase in life. My adoration for vintage films (and I’m talking my own form of vintage – films popular from my youth) is a new-found source of entertainment happiness. Maybe it’s because I can’t tolerate much from broadcast television or cable news. I don’t want to be an Continue reading
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Little One…and Mama
I spied…mama and baby deer this morning and I was shocked by how much “baby” has grown (first pic). The second photo (sorry for the grainy-ness through the screen) was taken just a couple of weeks ago when I wrote about my favorite twosome. Baby’s sweet markings and slight physique were obvious then…less so today. Continue reading
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Learning from Wise Ones: Three C’s
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. -Viktor Frankl When people ask me – especially after reading “Surviving Sue” – about my self-preservation secrets and tips for resiliency, I smile. Continue reading
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My Natural State is Happy
I love hearing from former students. They pop up for all sorts of reasons. Letters of recommendation? Sure. Reference requests? Yes, yes. Fairly often. Outreach to ask for career or relationship advice? Definitely. Many of the referrals I receive in my consulting business come from former students and clients. They know that Vicki. When I Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: Sleep Deprived Style
I love friends who know me well enough to provide a swift kick when I need one, sometimes with a knowing giggle. I’ve got a few relentless jokesters in my life, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. (Well, maybe a cookie, today I’ve got a hankering for a cookie and I’m not gonna lie Continue reading
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Making Peace with Food
In my Heart of the Matter post this morning I share my ‘Top 13’ tricks and tips for taking care of myself. I edit it from time to time, but for the most part they’re my tried-and-true healthful habits. But that’s not the point of this post. Nope, nope, nope. Welcome to the dark side, Continue reading
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My Life, My Happiness
I know writer Hunter S. Thompson was an intriguing and controversial figure. I’ve found those two words – the adjectives ‘intriguing and ‘controversial’ – to be frequent descriptors when I think about him. I love reading about people who spent their lives stirring things up. 😉 It doesn’t mean I condone the behaviors or actions, but Continue reading
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Stormy Weather
I had a long chat recently with a former colleague and it was a delightful opportunity to catch up. She was the sort of confidante who could lift up the entire universe with her good humor and work ethic. The kind of colleague that you clamor to be near… shiny, smart and driven…and unafraid to Continue reading
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I Wish I’d Said This!
Has this happened to you…often? I’ll run across some magic words…a phrase or sentence that I swear originated in my heart. Maybe my head. Sometimes my gut. But you get the idea. And when I find out the author is anonymous? How could that be? Mystified. See what I mean: All I can tell you Continue reading
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Morning Giggles
I wrote a silly post a few months ago about what a klutz I am… lacking in coordination BIG TIME. Falling down choral risers in picturesque Avignon and careening into a colleague in a stairwell. I mean…I’m a menace. It’s bad enough if you’re clumsy and the phrase ‘you’re your own worst enemy’ describes you Continue reading
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The Pouring Out
Some days I don’t think I offer much at all to others. I’m not pandering for compliments; I’m just musing over the ’empty vessels’ that we can all become. I mean…it’s my job to be a listener, advisor, coach, and source of support. On a good day, I might provide a bit of inspiration, but Continue reading
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Work in Progress? Me!
I’ve been catching up with a few former work colleagues – the ones who remain forever friends despite the changes in jobs, locations, industries. It’s true that some people pass through our lives and move on, and we glean what we’re supposed to in the process. Lessons learned, sometimes painfully sometimes joyously and that’s that. One Continue reading
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Tool Time Respect 😎
We’ve got a lot going on around the house – still. Our kitchen remodel continues and we’ve added extra whirling parts and pieces by deciding to refinish floors at the same time. As a concept…it made sense. Today I’m doing my work from the hubster’s home office space and I feel like a fish out Continue reading
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Maybe He’s On His Way
I know a dear one who’s struggling with an eating disorder. It’s still not the sort of thing that men openly talk about but that doesn’t mean the challenges of disordered eating, food addictions, are unique to one gender. My dear one? He’s invited to a weekend of debauchery, Las Vegas style, for a bachelor Continue reading
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Heart Songs Within
Every day I DO want to change the world. My ‘to do’ list often starts with what everyone else should be doing because I sometimes fancy myself brighter and better able to see opportunities for improvement in others. I’ve learned…such a fool’s gambit. Instead, lead by example. Do…what’s right…demonstrate that which matters most in actions, Continue reading
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It Was Always You
I was a lucky girl…working in higher education for many years as a faculty member, counselor and as an administrator. No matter which role I was in, providing support gave me purpose. Gave me joy. Teaching is difficult, not just in the moment, but because it’s impossible to know how each student’s life story unfolds. Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: Silly S’Mores Style
I’m trying to eat healthier…for a whole host of reasons. I’m a grown up and know that a steady diet of my ‘comfort foods’ (which, despite my attempt at healthfulness, everything I love to eat…truly love… is a carb when I’m honest). Mixed nuts? Left alone – those are great options but to my tastebuds, Continue reading
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Rippling Wonder
A few months ago, I wrote about a favorite professor and his unique brand of creativity and one of the resources I shared at the time is worthy of a second mention. It’s a short piece about the ‘science of creativity’ and I return to it often – sharing with clients and family members as Continue reading
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I’m With Muir…
In yesterday’s post I mentioned that a pair of mourning doves ‘sauntered’ along our deck railing. Not long after she read it, a dear friend reached out to torment me 😉 with a text barrage about the origin of the word ‘saunter’. I love a good etymology rabbit hole, but I was unprepared for the Continue reading
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To Live Content…
William Ellery Channing’s beautiful wisdom in his poem “My Symphony” spoke to me this morning. Well, not literally. Poetry doesn’t speak…it was more of a resonating moment. 😊 At 4:30 am, with all the windows open, the earliest of early birds began their morning revelry. I’m terrible at identifying birdsongs but I suspect I heard wrens, Continue reading
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Different is Good
One of the more difficult jobs I had, once upon a time, was that of career counselor at an unemployment office. I loved my colleagues; they were good-hearted people who made every workday fun, but the clientele was challenging. It’s true that providing encouragement to those who are out of work can be draining but Continue reading
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Borrowing from Buddha
My dad was a believer in the idea that friends pass through our lives for ‘seasons and reasons’. He was a realist about the fact that some friendships are destined to be situational, not everlasting. He’d say “people roll in and out and you need to let the door swing both ways”, to benefit each Continue reading
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I Smile Therefore I Am…
Maybe it’s a sweet text message or a snippet in your newsfeed…maybe it’s a nugget of insight from a blogging friend but may I ask a question of you? Do you smile when you read? Do other emotions show on your face – maybe a grimace or a frown from time to time? I lean Continue reading
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It’s Never Too Late for Courage
This week a friend asked if I’d talk to her brother who’s struggling with a workplace dilemma. She told me a little about his situation and my first reaction was that it sounded as if he’s dealing with anticipatory grief, unrelated to death, but a loss just the same. This sweet man, fifteen years into Continue reading
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When You Crack Yourself Up: Emily Dickinson Style
If you see me wandering… Continue reading
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Realizing Potential
I wondered…did he WANT to be fired? Continue reading
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Power of Intuition
Reckless honesty…I’m not much of a concrete thinker… Continue reading
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Crying in the Car
Happy Birthday, Karen Carpenter ❤ Continue reading
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Making the Effort…With Love
Five things…care & keeping of others… Continue reading
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Fearlessly in Love
Lovey, dovey hooey? Continue reading
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In the Old Days…I Would’ve Asked My Dad…
A bit of a tech ramble…some pondering thoughts… Continue reading
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Vicki Needed to Vent 😊
I feel so much better now… Continue reading
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Pieces of Me
Self-understanding…one piece at a time… Continue reading
“Surviving Sue”, a special story about resiliency and love: Eckhartz Press (paperback) and eBook on Amazon.
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